Custos
by nherbie
Summary: Sequel to Wrath of Kanaan. Sheppard is injured off world and Atlantis helps him when he returns. Someone else thinks he should be sent back to Earth for treatment.
1. Chapter 1

A/N – takes place post season 5 and Atlantis is back in the Pegasus Galaxy. My second Sentient Atlantis storyline. I do not own any of the Star Gate characters…more's the pity.

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Chapter 1

Richard Woolsey stood on the floor of the gate room, his hands clasped behind his back and a benign look pasted on his face while inwardly he seethed with irritation. The IOA had, in their infinite wisdom, decided that all new employees should experience space travel using the very tools they oversaw. They would start out by gating from Cheyenne Mountain to a planet at the edge of the Milky Way where one of their ships waited, usually the Daedalus. They would then fly to Atlantis aboard her, where they would spend a few days visiting the city before gating back to Earth. He'd just received word that the Daedalus had reached orbit and the newest IOA underling would be beamed down shortly. This would make the third one in less than six months and he really had better things to do with his time. Why the hell were they hiring so many new people anyway? Apparently this one was coming over from Homeland Security and he was uneasy about that fact.

He heard Chuck call down, his unspoken opinion about the upcoming visit evident in his voice. "Colonel Caldwell is reporting they are beaming the IOA representative down now sir."

"Thank you Chuck."

The telltale shimmer of someone beaming in caught his eye and he straightened a little more. The very pretty woman who appeared in front of him made some of his irritation disappear. She appeared to be late thirties, early forties with light brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. He moved forward and extended his hand. "Ms. Kingston? I'm Richard Woolsey, Director of the Atlantis Expedition. Welcome to our city."

She smiled and took his hand. "It's nice to meet you Mr. Woolsey." She'd been given reports on all the personnel on Atlantis but had elected not to read them. She wanted to form her own opinions on the people who ran this expedition, without any of the bias that the reports could generate. She took a look around her and an expression Woolsey was all too familiar with passed over her face as he found himself ridiculously proud that Atlantis always brought a look of awe to the face of anyone new to her. "What an amazing place!"

"It certainly is and you've only seen the gate room. Atlantis has many more wonders to share with you. Would you prefer to go to the guest quarters first or take a tour?" He always made sure to refer to the rooms set aside for the IOA as the guest quarters. The first IOA underling to beam down had decided after his first day here, that he was there to stay and should take over running the city. Colonel Sheppard had asked Todd to stop by and the underling, whose name Woolsey had conveniently forgotten, had fled back to Earth at the first opportunity. He found himself hoping the lovely woman in front of him would stay a bit longer. She opened her mouth to reply when Chuck called out as the gate began to dial in, the chevrons locking in sequence.

"Unscheduled off world activation, shield raised." He paused as he anxiously waited. "It's Dr. McKay's IDC sir and he's reporting a medical emergency." The whoosh of the gate engaging startled the woman at his side, even though she'd seen it happen in Colorado.

Woolsey sighed as he felt his stomach tighten with anxiety, SGA-1 was always getting into trouble; it seemed like they attracted it like flowers attracted bees. They'd been off world to M2K-374 firming up an already agreed upon trade arrangement. There should have been no danger there. "Lower the shield and inform Dr. Keller."

"She and her team are already on their way sir." Chuck touched the necessary keys to lower the shield. The first person through was Rodney, followed by Teyla who was supporting another woman who was limping badly. They were filthy, covered in what looked like dirt and dust. Woolsey's anxiety went down a notch, thinking that this was the medical situation that needed attending. That was until Ronon exited the gate, a very bloody and obviously unconscious Sheppard in his arms, his head buried in the Satedan's chest. His anxiety ratcheted up as he saw the very large piece of glass sticking out of his military commander's side, the blood dripping through the field bandage that surrounded it onto the floor in an unnervingly constant drip. Jennifer Keller and her team arrived with a gurney and as they rushed forward, Ronon gently placed his burden on the waiting bed, the nurses moving in to immediately start I.V. lines. He heard a gasp beside him and hoped Ms. Kingston wasn't going to faint on him. He was most unprepared when he heard her ask softly. "John?"

He turned and looked at her, frowning, but she didn't notice, her full attention on the drama taking place in front of her, her face pale and mouth slightly open. "I'm sorry, do you know Colonel Sheppard?"

She tore her eyes away from the man she thought she'd never see again, to stare at Woolsey who was obviously waiting for an answer. Shaking off her stupor she replied. "Yes, he's my husband, er, ex-husband." Woolsey could only stare at her in shock.

He could hear the beeping of the machines the medical team had already attached to the military commander behind him. He put aside his questions and immediately turned back towards the activity around the Colonel when he heard Dr. Keller's worried voice as the heart monitor droned out the hated sound indicating no heartbeat. "He's flatlining, I can't find a pulse! Marie, charge up the defibrillator." She stepped up onto the lower bars of the gurney to reach him and began CPR while the head nurse did as she asked. Another nurse placed an ambu bag over his face and began to squeeze the bag every few seconds, efficiently timing it with Keller's compressions.

When Marie indicated that the defibrillator was ready, Jennifer stopped her efforts as she took the paddles and the nurse arming the bag pulled it off his face and stepped back. "Clear!" Jennifer yelled as she applied them to the man's chest and side. His body arched off the bed and Jennifer watched the heart monitor level back out to flatline. "Nothing! Charge to 300, I'll keep up compressions." She began again until the machine indicated it was ready and she applied it, then watched the monitor in apprehension, heart dropping as it showed no change. "Ok, 360." She began CPR once again and winced when she felt a rib break under her hands. After hitting him with the highest charge and seeing no change, her shoulders slumped. "No change, he's gone."

Nancy gasped as her eyes filled with tears and she heard a similar sound behind her. She turned and was surprised to see that the room was significantly more crowded than it had been when she'd first arrived. She turned to look back to the scene surrounding John, still unable to comprehend what she'd seen and met Mr. Woolsey's eyes. He too, had turned around at the sound. Quietly he said. "Colonel Sheppard is very well respected and liked here on Atlantis. He has a…tendency…to get into trouble and word somehow always leaks out. People appear out of nowhere to give their support, either here or at the infirmary." He put a hand on her shoulder when her chin quivered, not really knowing what to do but pretty sure a 'there, there' would not be useful, besides, he was feeling in need of some comfort himself. He'd come to enjoy working with Sheppard and the idea of anyone else taking his place was disheartening, to say the least. When they heard Jennifer indicate time of death, all the lights in Atlantis flickered and went out, emergency lights kicking in.

"Chuck?" He called out.

"I can't see anything wrong Mr. Woolsey." Chuck's voice was suspiciously husky.

Behind them, they heard Teyla say, her voice full of pain. "It is Atlantis. She is mourning John." Tears were streaming down her face as she said it. They'd just finally found each other after the incident with Kanaan and had started exploring a life together. It just wasn't fair that it was ending so quickly after so much wasted time. Behind her another voice boomed out.

"No! No, you can't stop now! The time Carson had to start his heart after the Iratus bug, it took four tries, not including the one Ford tried in the jumper!" McKay begged. He looked at Jennifer. "Jenn? Please?"

"He's right. Sheppard's strong, you need to try again!" Ronon seconded McKay. Nancy looked at him more closely and recognized the man she'd met at John's father's funeral. He looked a little different now, covered in dirt and blood, but she recognized that voice and the dreadlocks. She turned her attention back to the doctor who was again applying the paddles to John's chest and side.

"Clear." She hit him again, with the same results.

"Charge it again!" McKay yelled. He couldn't believe he was in danger of losing one of his best friends again, not so soon. Jennifer sighed and nodded to Marie who nodded back, wiping away her own tears with the back of her hand. She waited until it was ready and applied the paddles yet again, still with no results.

She stopped and looked at the team and focused on Rodney. "Rodney, I'm sorry, he's gone. There's nothing more we can do."

"One more time, please just one more time! I won't ask again." He pleaded. Jennifer didn't want to give in but she couldn't resist the heartbroken look on his face and swallowed hard. It wasn't like she didn't want to bring him back, John was her friend as well and she cared for him deeply. Plus, she knew he was good for Rodney. She dreaded how her boyfriend would react to losing another of his best friends, even though Carson had come back to them…in a way. She knew everyone was waiting for her to pull off a miracle but he'd lost too much blood and nothing was going to help if she couldn't get his heart started again.

She wished Carson were here, but he was off world helping a community stricken with the Hoffan drug. Even though Michael was dead, pockets of infected people kept cropping up. She decided to try again and would hold Rodney to his promise. Marie charged it while she once again continued CPR. She watched his body arch again and was stunned when the monitor registered several beats before flattening out again. She felt a glimmer of hope and turned to Marie who was already charging again, a determined look on her face. She was pretty sure her head nurse was just as in love with Sheppard as pretty much every other woman on the base seemed to be.

"Clear!" She called out again, sending a prayer up to every god in the Milky Way and Pegasus Galaxies. She placed the paddles and hit him one last time. Weak heartbeats registered once again, this time gaining strength as the seconds ticked by. When they didn't stop, she said. "He's back! Let's go! I need to get him into surgery now!" The lights came back on all over Atlantis at her words, startling many, but bringing a strained smile to those in the gate room as they registered the city's devotion to the Colonel. Marie was way ahead of her and was already leading the gurney away. The remaining nurse turned to the rest of the team, stopping them as they made to follow and gave each one the once over, focusing on the woman who was still being held up by Teyla.

"Teyla, are you both okay?" Caro asked.

Teyla tore her eyes away from the vanishing gurney holding the love of her life and focused on the question. "What? Oh, yes, I am fine but Maylara needs to be looked at, she injured her leg. I believe it to be broken." Caro headed towards her only to find the woman backing away, pulling Teyla with her.

"No! No, I want to go with John!" She said loudly with a determined look on her face.

Teyla turned to her. "Maylara, you will. John is on his way to the infirmary and that is where we need to go as well. Please, let Caro take a look at your leg."

The woman searched her eyes and then turned to the hall down which everyone had disappeared and finally gave a short nod. Caro bent over and examined her left leg. She nodded once and stood up. "It looks like a clean break, we'll need to get a wheelchair up here and get her down to the infirmary." She tapped her comms and ordered one to be brought to the gate room. She then turned a critical eye to the rest, coming to rest on Ronon. "Ronon? Are you hurt?"

Ronon pulled his eyes away from the same hall Maylara had been staring at, torn between following his friend and staying to make sure the rest of his team was okay, and looked down at himself. "I'm fine. It's all Sheppard's."

"Very well, but you all need your post mission physicals. You look like something the cat dragged in." Her small attempt at levity crashed and burned. She turned as the wheelchair appeared. Maylara was settled into it and they began their trek to the infirmary.

Ronon merely nodded and started down the same hallway, following impatiently behind the wheelchair, Teyla and McKay at his side. "I'd like a report on what happened please." Richard said as he followed along in the team's wake, the ex-Mrs. Sheppard glued to his side.

"There was an earthquake and the building we were in collapsed." Ronon replied.

"Strallosquake." McKay corrected absentmindedly.

Ronon looked at him. "What?"

"You said Earthquake. We weren't on Earth, we were on Strallos. Therefore, it was a Strallosquake."

"This is why Sheppard doesn't let you name things!"

"What? He does too!"

"No, he doesn't."

"Does."

"Doesn't."

"Does too!"

"Gentlemen!" Woolsey broke in, he wanted to be irritated but knew that the bickering between the two team mates was the way they dealt with their fear and worry. Nancy had been watching the back and forth with interest, wondering what the story was there, trying to force down her worry for the man she'd never stopped loving, even if they couldn't make a go of it as a couple. Woolsey opened his mouth to get the men back on track when Maylara spoke.

"Why did he do it?" She sounded bewildered.

Woolsey turned to her. "Why did he do what?"

"Go back into the crumbling building. He was out safely yet he went back in."

Ronon answered. "It's what he does." His voice was full of pride, masking the worry that Sheppard doing what he did, was going to result in him losing the best commander he'd ever had. A man he was proud to also call friend. The man who had saved him from a life of running from the Wraith and had given him a home and a purpose.

"Explain." Woolsey said.

"Sheppard was the last one out, making sure everyone else was out safely. He yelled at me that he'd heard something and headed back in. The entire building collapsed on him before he could get out again." Ronon supplied.

"Do you know why he went back in? What he heard?"

Maylara answered. "He heard my five year old niece crying. She was not even supposed to be there! She snuck in before the treaty signing started, hiding under the table. She fell asleep there and woke up when the ground began to tremble. She was afraid she was in trouble and stayed quiet until the building began to fall down. John heard her crying for me and that is why he went back in. She was no one to him, why would he risk his life for hers?"

"John would never leave anyone behind, especially not a child. Not if he thought there was anything he could do." Teyla said, her voice soft and her love for him was evident. Nancy looked at her and frowned. The woman was exotically beautiful and obviously a big part of the life John now led. She felt jealousy rear its ugly head and pushed it down, something to be pondered later when, or if, he survived.

"And the child?" Woolsey asked.

"She is safe, only some scratches and bruises. John saved her life. She would surely be dead if not for him. She is all that is left of my family. My mate, sister and her mate were all culled several years ago. She came to live with me after that. We were not blessed with children and I love her as I would any child of my own. She is the main reason I was so eager to sign the treaty with Atlantis. I hoped that it would give her a better chance to live a long and happy life. I never expected that to be the truth the second the treaty was signed. John, and Atlantis, will have our unswerving loyalty from this day forward. I vow this to you, as leader of my people."

Teyla put her hand on Maylara's shoulder and squeezed. The woman placed her own hand over Teyla's and looked up from the wheelchair. "I am so sorry Teyla but, I cannot wish that things had turned out differently. I love that child more than life itself. Can you understand? As one mother to another?" Nancy's head shot up at that. Teyla had a child? Was it John's? Had he moved on that far? Yes, she'd remarried, a marriage that had broken down for the same reasons hers and John's had. Secrets held, destinations confidential, only this time it was her holding back. She'd wondered to herself after the second divorce, if maybe her new found understanding of what he'd gone through, having to keep things from her, not because he wanted to but because he had to, could lead to them reconciling and trying a second time. That was if she could only find him. It would now appear that she had, but that she was too late and felt a great loneliness sweep over her.

Teyla nodded her understanding, not able to trust her voice. If John didn't survive, how would she explain to Torren where the man he had started to look on as a father had gone? She swallowed her tears, she would not give up. John would survive and she would stand at his side for whatever life the Ancestors found fit to bless them with.

"What happened after the building collapsed?" Woolsey asked, fascinated despite the dire circumstances currently surrounding Sheppard.

"Once the…quake…stopped, we were able to start digging through the rubble. It took almost two hours to get to him. Maylara was a great help until a piece of debris shifted, knocking her down and breaking her leg. The Strallosians worked just as tirelessly to find John as we did." Teyla responded, having found her voice and refusing to call it either an Earth or Strallosquake and start the whole bickering again.

"And?" Woolsey prompted.

"We found the two of them near the center of the main room. It looked like he was able to get to her and was on his way out when he realized it was too late. When we found them, the child was under his body, protected from the worst of the collapse. I was able to pinpoint his sub-q transmitter so that we were able to determine where he was instead of digging randomly. He somehow managed to curl around her so that she wasn't crushed by his body, but it meant he took the brunt of the falling debris. He only regained consciousness long enough to ask after the child and the rest of us. He's been out of it since." McKay answered, his voice shaky as he thought about what his friend had gone through.

"The child was not badly hurt, only scared with some minor injuries. She told us what had happened, how she had come to be there and how the pretty dark man came to save her." Teyla picked up the thread of the story.

Ronon snorted and Rodney just sighed. "Doesn't matter how old they are." He muttered under his breath.

They reached the infirmary and scattered. Teyla went with Maylara, worried about leaving her with strangers, but desperately wanting to join the rest of her team to wait for news about John. She craved their strength and support. Once the Strallosian leader assured her she was fine and Caro had seconded it, she wished her well and hurried to find Ronon and Rodney. She skidded to a halt when she realized they were not alone. The area that had been designated as the waiting room was full of people. She saw Lorne talking with Ronon and headed their way, or least tried to as she was stopped every few feet by people asking if she'd heard anything or to give her their sympathy. It was not exactly a secret that the two of them were together now. In fact, the major sentiment of most of the Atlantis personnel was that it was about time, something that had surprised both her and John. A reaction that had sent both Ronon and Rodney into gales of laughter.

She finally reached the men in time to hear Ronon say. "Yeah, I met her at his dad's funeral. Seemed nice enough. She used her role at something called Homeland Security to get us information that helped us stop the replicator."

"She's a looker, surprised he let her go." Lorne replied. Ronon said nothing as he caught sight of Teyla standing behind Lorne with her arms crossed and her left eyebrow raised. Lorne noticed that the Satedan wasn't looking at him anymore and swallowed hard. "Teyla's behind me, isn't she?"

"Yup."

Lorne turned and attempted a smile at which she just tilted her head. "Would you care to explain who you are talking about?" She asked.

"Sheppard's ex-wife is here on Atlantis." Ronon said baldly.

"And you met her before?"

"Ah, yeah,"

"And you never felt the need to tell me about this?"

"Ah, no."

"Would you care to introduce me?" Lorne took a step back at the tone of her voice and quietly distanced himself from the two friends.

"Ah, no."

"Ronon!"

"Fine, come on then." He turned and led the way to where Woolsey was talking with Nancy. The two stopped their conversation as they watched the big man, with the diminutive woman at his side, approach.

Before he could say anything, Nancy reached out a hand and said. "Ronon Dex, correct? We met at Patrick's funeral."

He shook her hand and then gestured to Teyla. "This is Teyla Emmagen. She's another member of Sheppard's team and a close…friend."

Nancy didn't miss the hesitation before the word friend and found her jealousy on the rise again. She turned to the woman and looked her up and down, knowing exactly how it would come across but seemingly unable to help herself. Instead of stiffening like most woman would under such scrutiny, the other woman seemed to relax instead, smiling and holding out her hand. "It is nice to finally meet you. John has…spoken of you." Teyla had learned early on how to deal with people such as John's ex. She knew that John would not approve of the way his ex-wife was behaving towards her and it only served to lessen her concern about the fact that this woman was on Atlantis. However, she wasn't above giving as good as she got and deliberately paused before saying 'spoken', knowing the other woman would wonder what she had been about to say instead.

"Really? All good I hope?"

"I am sure." Teyla's answer left Nancy wondering if she meant she was sure it was all good or she was sure that Nancy hoped it was. Nancy found herself admiring the woman, even though her jealousy went up a notch. This was a not woman to be underestimated, but Nancy Compton Sheppard Kingston had been playing with the big boys for a long time now and knew how to get what she wanted and she'd just decided she wanted John back.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Several hours had passed while his team waited on news, hopeful that no news was good news. People came and went, with the core five staying put. The fact that Nancy had not left was a source of annoyance to Teyla, amusement to Ronon and bemusement to Rodney. Inside the infirmary, Maylara's leg had been casted and she was resting comfortably, if restlessly, as she too waited to hear about her niece's savior, a man she had found charming and kind even before the ground had begun to tremble. His bravery through the incident had only increased her opinion of the man. The medical staff had impressed her with their knowledge and she had found them to be kind and gentle but adamant that she was not allowed out of bed to wait with the rest of John's team. Each time one of them passed her bed, she asked, only to be told patiently that they had no news and would let her know as soon as they did. When an obviously exhausted Doctor Keller passed through on her way to where everyone waited, Maylara stifled her urge to call her back. John's friends deserved to be the first to find out how he was. She hoped that someone would come to tell her soon.

When Jennifer exited the infirmary, every head snapped her way. The crowd had thinned considerably in the intervening hours and she was glad about that. Only John's team, Woolsey and a couple other Atlantis personnel remained. She smiled wanly and made her way to his teammates, needing to be near Rodney. The man had no social skills but he always seemed to find a way to make her feel better, and she needed that right now. She was surprised to see a strange woman standing with the group. Too tired to really wonder who the woman was, she stopped next to Rodney and allowed herself to lean into him a little. His arm automatically went around her waist and pulled her a little closer. She could feel him shaking and knew he was terrified of what she was going to say. "Jenn?" He whispered.

"He's alive. He…he crashed again on the table but we were able to get him back a little easier this time. I was able to remove the glass and suture the wound. It was loaded with debris and had to be cleaned out. I had to remove his spleen as it was too badly damaged this time. He was bleeding internally." The last time he'd been this badly hurt, Carson had managed to save the organ. "Luckily, it just missed his kidney and other organs. He's in intensive care right now and on a ventilator." Every one of his team stiffened, each of them thinking back to several months ago when he'd almost succumbed to a vicious beating and had been unconscious for weeks, much of that time also spent on the machine. She continued. "He also has broken ribs, one of which I caused doing CPR. One of them nicked a lung. I repaired the damage and it's not severe but under the circumstances of his other injuries, I felt the ventilator was necessary." She swallowed hard, still not sure if the rib that had done the damage had been the one she'd broken. If she'd been the one to drive it into his lung. Teyla reached out to touch her arm.

"Jennifer, you did what you had to do to save his life. John would be the first one to tell you that." Carson had been training Teyla on field medicine, including CPR, and had warned her that breaking a patient's rib was always a possibility when performing it on a patient. An unfortunate side effect of circumventing what the ribs were designed to do, namely to protect the heart.

"It's a good thing none of you tried to pull that piece of glass out. He would have bled out long before you could've gotten him home."

Ronon shrugged. "I've seen it happen. I figured the best thing I could do would be to wrap a field bandage around it and hope it kept it stable."

"Well, it did. You may well have saved his life."

There was silence and then Rodney asked. "What aren't you telling us, Jenn?"

She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. For someone who was usually so clueless, she could rarely hide anything from him. "Look, I have to warn you. He was without oxygen for far longer than I would've liked. We have to be prepared that there could be brain damage." She'd had him under the ancient scanner and the results had her worried, the signs all pointed to damage that could severely hinder his quality of life when he finally awoke. Rodney's shaking increased.

Ronon responded. "Doesn't matter. Whatever happens, we'll be here for him." He stared hard at Woolsey, daring him to say anything different.

Woolsey simply stared back and nodded. "Major Lorne will be in command until we know what the prognosis is. I see no reason to notify the SGC of the severity of the colonel's injuries, just yet." Ronon smiled a little and Teyla placed her hand on his arm in thanks. It had taken time to learn to trust the man but he'd come through for them several times since taking over as expedition leader, throwing away the rule books that meant so much to him on more than one occasion and they were grateful for his understanding their worry now. Nancy, however, did _not_ understand.

"Surely it would be better to send John back to Earth for his medical care? You can't possibly hope to take as good care of him here compared to what he would get back home! His family connections alone would guarantee him getting the best medical care possible!"

Jennifer cringed a little, she was too drained to deal with this now, and John's team turned to provide a united front to this interloper. It was Teyla who responded. "John already has the best medical care possible, right here on Atlantis. Jennifer, Carson, and their team, have saved John's life, all our lives, more than once. He could not do any better on Earth. Atlantis is his home and where his family is. He stays here."

"Who are you to determine that? Surely SGC rules would indicate he should be sent back to Earth?" She was determined that John would go back and she would go with him, taking care of him in his time of need. Finding a way back into his life.

"He is my mate and I am his listed next of kin. That is who I am. I have the right to say he stays here and stay here he will!" Teyla was well and truly agitated by now. Her usual calm demeanor fled as she found a target for her worry and fear.

Nancy took a step away from her and snarled. "We'll see about that! I'll be contacting the SGC if you won't _and_ his brother, Dave Sheppard, who _will_ make sure he's taken care of, away from this backwater field hospital!" She turned to flounce away, only to find that the door wouldn't open for her. She turned back to find every face in the room smirking at her. "Let me out of here!"

Woolsey found he no longer thought of Nancy Kingston as particularly attractive. "I'm afraid Atlantis has made her decision as well. John Sheppard will stay here and the SGC will be told of his injuries, when, and if, we deem it becomes necessary."

"What do you mean, _Atlantis_ has made her decision? It's an inanimate city! Are you talking about what _she_ said when John was pronounced dead? That the city was mourning him? How far gone _are_ you people?"

Ronon grinned at her and she swallowed hard. The look was anything but friendly and made him look like what he was, a warrior and dangerous. "You have a lot to learn about Atlantis and a lot to learn about the people who live here. No one will help you remove Sheppard from where he needs to be."

"He needs to be in a hospital back on Earth where they can give him the best possible care!" She reiterated like a broken record.

The door behind her opened and Major Lorne stepped in. One of the other personnel in the room had quietly contacted him while the argument raged between those closest to the Colonel, to let him know that his CO was out of surgery and that there was some kind of drama brewing in the infirmary. He'd headed here immediately and, having heard the last thing his boss's ex-wife said, felt his hackles rise. "What's going on here?" He asked.

Teyla turned to him and said. "This woman wants to take John back to Earth! She does not believe that we can give him the proper care here."

Lorne looked at the defiant woman in front of him and sighed. As soon as he'd found out his CO's ex-wife was their IOA guest, he'd worried that her presence would be disruptive and it looked like he'd been right, just not for the right reasons. He'd been more concerned about the two women and their relationships to Sheppard, past and present, causing waves, not this. "Why would he need to go back to Earth, ma'am?" He asked calmly and put his best poker face on as he faced her, knowing he'd side with John's team to fight her every inch of the way.

"He needs to be somewhere he can get better medical care than here!" Nancy restated her opinion loudly. She pointed at Jennifer. "What is she? Like 12?"

"Well, ma'am, I doubt you'll find any better medical care in either galaxy than what the Colonel has right here. Dr. Keller may be young, but there's no one I would rather have working to save my life."

"You people are delusional! You've spent too much time away from civilization to understand what's needed!"

Teyla tensed and waded into the fray once more. "Away from civilization? What do you think we are? A bunch of savages scrabbling in the dirt?"

"Well, if the shoe fits!" Nancy wasn't going to back down to this backwoods female, unaware that the woman had been the leader of an entire people and had the respect of many societies throughout the galaxy and at the SGC. Not to mention, she was a fierce warrior in her own right. Nancy was scared to death that John would die here and was not her normal diplomatic self. She'd already determined that she would fight for what she felt was right for him, no matter whose toes she stepped on or whose feelings she hurt.

Before Teyla could reply, Jennifer finally spoke up. "Stop it! Just, stop it! It's a moot point anyway! Colonel Sheppard is in no condition to be moved anywhere, let alone all the way back to Earth. Moving him now could kill him."

Five pairs of eyes stared at her and then they all turned to Nancy. She glared at them. "This isn't over, not by a long shot! When John is able to be moved, he will be sent back to Earth to get the proper medical care!" She turned and this time Atlantis let her go through the door, although she barely made it through before it slammed shut behind her. A soft chuckle escaped one of the personnel not actively involved in the altercation, amused at the evidence that the city was aware of the situation. Lorne raised an eyebrow and the small group decided now would be a good time for them to make their exit as well. Each made sure to touch Teyla in some way as they left, silently conveying their well wishes and the belief that Colonel Sheppard was where he was supposed to be. Several had already decided to lodge a complaint about the woman's actions with the IOA.

When the door closed behind them, Lorne turned and looked at Woolsey. "Sir, I think maybe a call to Amelia in the command center might be in order."

Richard nodded and keyed his comms. "Amelia?"

"Yes sir?"

"Would you please make sure that our guest, Nancy Kingston, is not allowed to make any calls out of the city, please?"

"With pleasure sir." The grapevine had been very active and she knew who the woman was. If Woolsey didn't want the IOA representative to make any calls out, she was pretty sure it had to do with the Colonel and that it wasn't good. She entered the appropriate commands and then, hesitating for just a moment, she asked. "Sir, how is Colonel Sheppard?"

Richard looked at Teyla, who was listening to everything he said. "He made it through the surgery and I have every confidence he'll survive this. He's too stubborn not to." The look of appreciation that passed over Teyla's face more than made up for the fact that he was worried he'd just lied to one of his people.

"That's good to hear sir! Amelia out."

He turned to Lorne. "That should do it."

Lorne smiled tiredly at him. "I doubt it will even be necessary. Something tells me Atlantis herself will not allow that _woman_ to make any calls that could lead to John leaving here." His words leaving no doubt to those listening about his opinion of the woman who had just left, a far cry from the admiration he had expressed earlier.

A sudden thought crossed Woolsey's mind and he turned back to look at the closed door. "I wonder where she's going?" He asked softly, of no one in particular. "No one had time to show her where the guest quarters are and, until now, she hasn't left the infirmary." He looked at the others and saw the moment the same outcome crossed their minds as small smiles appeared on each face, including Dr. Keller's. The thought of the woman wandering the halls of Atlantis, trying to find her room, was an image they could live with. Half of the expedition still got lost in the massiveness of the city and, for a stranger, its very size would quickly lead to getting lost. Somehow, they doubted she'd get much help along the way.

Lorne tilted his head at Woolsey and asked. "Do you think I should have someone track her down and take her to her room?"

Richard smiled and said. "Perhaps. Eventually."

Ronon clapped a hand on his shoulder, practically knocking him over. "Didn't think you had it in you Woolsey." He said with a grin. Richard found himself swell with a little bit of pride at having garnered the Satedan's approval. He wondered if he would even recognize himself when the time finally came for him to go back to Earth permanently. He wasn't happy that the thought of going back didn't fill him with anticipation, instead recognizing that a mild panic had just set in at the thought of leaving. His thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Keller.

"Now that the drama is over, I need to get back to my patient. I'll keep you updated on how he does." Jennifer turned to go, only to be stopped by Ronon, Rodney and Teyla stepping in front of her. She knew what they wanted but it just wasn't possible for all of them to sit with their friend. She held up a hand and said. "Fine! One. One of you can sit with him at any given time. He's still in critical condition and I really shouldn't allow anyone in with him but I know my wishes won't stop you." While she knew that was the proper thing to do, she also knew each one of them seemed to do better when another member of their team sat with them in a time of need.

"Teyla should be the first one." Rodney said. The others looked at him in surprise. "What? She's his….mate…she should be the one to stay with him first." He was still having a hard time adjusting to the fact that John and Teyla were now a couple but he knew how he'd feel if it was Jennifer lying in that bed. There was nothing in either galaxy that would be able to keep him away from her side. Teyla reached out and placed a hand on each of his shoulders and lowered her forehead to his. The Athosian ritual affected him more than he wanted to admit. Softly he said. "He's going to be okay, Teyla. I believe it. He's strong and he has you and Torren to come back to now. I know how much you both mean to him and he'll do everything in his power to stay here with you."

"Thank you Rodney. You are a good friend." Her raspy voice betrayed how much his words meant to her. She turned and followed Jennifer to the ICU area of the infirmary. The others watched her go, her head held high, every inch the leader and warrior she was. They all knew, though, that inside she was terrified that this time, John wouldn't make one of his miraculous recoveries.

Ronon turned back to the rest. "I'm hungry. Anyone want to go to the mess hall?" They all nodded listlessly and trooped out of the room, confident that their friend was in the best possible hands.

Behind the curtains that Caro had told her were for privacy, Maylara had heard the end of the argument when the voices had been raised enough to be heard throughout the infirmary. She didn't know who the woman was who argued so vehemently about John leaving here, going back to this place called Earth. She assumed it was their home world as Teyla and John had both been open about the fact that, while Atlantis was now their home, it had only been so for a handful of years. She couldn't understand why the woman would want to take him away from these kind, wonderful people who obviously knew what they were doing. She was so deep in her thoughts that, when the nurse called Marie opened one of the curtains to come in, she started.

"Are you ok, Maylara?"

"Yes, Marie, thank you. I was thinking and did not hear you approach." She knew John was still alive but badly hurt by the heated discussion she had just overheard, still she wanted to hear it for herself. "How is John?"

Marie smiled at her but she could see it was strained. "He's still alive and holding his own. Dr. Keller is one of the two best doctors I've ever worked with. He's getting the best care possible. In addition, Dr. Beckett should be back soon. He's the other one." She patted Maylara's knee as she started to take her vitals. Satisfied that all was well, she asked. "Would you like something to eat?"

"No, thank you. Caro brought me something before she left for the day. Would it be possible to see him?"

"I'm sorry but that won't be possible right now. Colonel Sheppard is badly hurt and Dr. Keller will only allow one person at a time to sit with him. Teyla is in with him now."

"I understand. Please let Teyla know that I will be praying to the Ancestors for his full and speedy recovery?"

"I will. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear that.'

"They love each other very much, do they not?"

Marie smiled, this time sincerely. "Oh, yes! They've loved each other since the first moment they met, but it took over five years before they admitted it just a few months ago. We all knew though. It was evident to everyone but them." Her face took on a dreamy quality and Maylara wondered if she was picturing herself in Teyla's place. She hid a small smile. She'd seen his effect on the young women of her village. He'd effortlessly charmed each one with just a look and a grin. As young as she was, she was pretty sure that her niece was now under his spell as well. She, herself, wasn't above feeling a little tingle when he smiled at her, the smile crooked but sincere.

Doing some math, Maylara frowned. "They have only been together for a few months? I thought their son Torren was almost two?"

"Oh, Torren isn't the Colonel's child. He was conceived with another Athosian who Teyla was in a relationship with. It…didn't…work out. I used to watch them together and wonder why they didn't see what we did. That it just wasn't right. That she belonged with the Colonel."

"But I heard him call the child his son."

Marie smiled brilliantly. "He may not be Torren's biological father but he is his father all the same. He loves that child as fiercely as he loves Teyla and would do anything to protect them."

"That seems to be something he extends to more than just the two of them."

"You mean going back after your niece? That's not something that would surprise anyone who knows him. Colonel Sheppard is a protector. It's in his blood. He could no more have stood outside that building, knowing that he might be able to save her, than he could if it was Teyla or Torren inside. He's put his life on the line for every one of us here on Atlantis, more times that I can count."

"You admire him, very much if I am not mistaken?"

Marie blushed furiously and pretended to straighten blankets that didn't need it. It suddenly occurred to her that she'd been gossiping about the Military Commander of Atlantis with a stranger. Keller would kill her if she found out. She smoothed the blanket once more, wondering how to get out of this.

Maylara hadn't been the leader of her people for so long without learning how to read people and instantly knew the young woman was regretting telling her so much personal information about John. She reached out and put it over the nervous hand that played with her blanket. The hand stilled and Marie looked up at her. "Do not worry my dear. I will not tell anyone you said a word about John other than to kindly tell me how he was doing."

Marie blushed again and muttered a heartfelt thank you as she turned to leave the enclosure. At the curtain, she turned back. "No one has done more for Atlantis than the Colonel and we'll all do everything in our power to make sure he stays here, where he belongs." She didn't know how much Maylara had heard, but she, herself, had heard most of the argument between the IOA woman and the Atlantis personnel. Her tone and disparaging remarks about their hospital here had made her angrier than she'd been in a very long time. She knew no one would help the woman remove the man from Atlantis but still, she worried.

"I know you will dear. It is in _your_ blood."

Marie tilted her head at her, wondering what she meant. When the meaning became clear, she smiled, her previous worry about her gossiping wiped away by the kind woman in the bed. She nodded and left, quietly pulling the curtain closed behind her. Maylara settled back in her bed and silently began a steady prayer to the Ancestors for John's return to health, just as she'd promised.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

~,~,~,~,~,~

Nancy Kingston wandered the halls of Atlantis, her frustration mounting with each step. Most of the doors wouldn't open for her, even though she'd seen a few personnel easily moving through them, just a swipe of the hand causing the doors to swish open. She'd tried the same moves, only to find the doors remained stubbornly closed. She thought about what John's team had said, calling the city 'she' and saying 'she' wouldn't allow John to be taken away. She huffed, not believing a word of it, even as the next door refused to respond to her. She pounded her fist against it, her only reward being a sore hand. She sighed and moved on. When she saw two people ahead of her, she hurried to catch up.

"Excuse me? Could you help me? I'm trying to find my way either to the guest quarters or the command center. I'm new here and I seem to have gotten lost somewhere along the way." She smiled at the two men, trying her best to charm them. Both were unimpressed. The Atlantis grapevine was fast and efficient. Both scientists were aware of what had happened to the Colonel, who she was and what she'd threatened to do. While neither was military and, therefore, not under Colonel Sheppard's direct command, they'd both been here since the beginning and knew how important the man was to their very survival. They both admired him, had even had gun training under his direct supervision. Something neither had ever thought they would need but the Colonel had been adamant that all personnel, even scientists, should at least be familiar with how to fire a weapon. He'd been patient with their hesitation and fumbling during their training session. Both had left it feeling like Rambo, a sensation that was unfamiliar to both of them but, somehow, intoxicating.

"I'm sorry ma'am. I have a meeting I need to get to. I'm already late. If you just keep going along this corridor, you should come to the mess hall and someone there can help you." Cristian Peterson said. His expertise was anthropology and he had no meetings on his agenda for several days.

His companion and best friend, Depak Ramakrishnan, nodded. Depak was a botanist and a mean poker player. "Sorry ma'am, I am heading to the same meeting." He replied in heavily accented English. He looked carefully at the woman who the grapevine said was Sheppard's ex-wife and didn't see it. Teyla and the Colonel? Made one hundred percent sense. This woman? Nope, there was nothing that told him this woman would hold any attraction to the man he'd come to know. As a unit, both continued on their way, leaving the frustrated Nancy behind them.

Atlantis watched her progress. She knew she wasn't human. She knew she was a construct of the Alterans, but still, she felt. John was important to her, like no other before him, and she would not allow this human female to take him away from her. She blocked every move the woman made that would lead her to the area now known as the guest quarters or that area she knew the Lanteans called the command center. Instead, she herded the woman towards the areas that the humans had yet to map, aware that it still held dangers to anyone unlucky enough to stumble into it. Her thinking brought her up short, knowing that John would not want anyone, even this thorn in her side, to be put in harm's way. If she could, the city would've sighed in resignation. She begrudgingly allowed the woman to make her way towards the mess hall. Based on what she'd seen so far, she couldn't understand why her John had actually tried to make a life with this woman. The relationship with Teyla, on the other hand, was perfect in her estimation. She turned her attention to the Athosian but did not lose track of Nancy, her processors allowing her to do many things at once.

~,~,~,~

Teyla walked into John's room in the ICU and her first thought was, this does not look so bad. She wondered at that thought. How had the sight of her mate, covered in bandages, on the human's ventilator, become so common place that she thought it wasn't a big deal? She remembered back to the 'incident' with Kanaan several months ago, when John had been beaten to within an inch of his life. He'd almost died then, at the hands of others. Others who hadn't known why they'd done what they had. This time, no one was at fault. This time it was simply nature, and John's nature, that was to blame. She knew why he'd done what he'd done. He wouldn't be the man she loved if he _hadn't_ done it, but it still didn't make it any easier for her to watch the machine breath for him. She sat by his side and picked his hand up in hers. Remembering the last time that hand had wandered over her body, loving her as only he could. She raised the hand to her lips and placed it against her cheek. Quietly, she began whispering words of love and encouragement to him.

Maylara had talked Marie into allowing her access again to what she'd discovered they termed a 'wheelchair'. It was an amazing means of transportation for someone who was invalided as she was. She didn't really remember it from her ride to the infirmary, her concentration solely on John and the situation. Now, she wondered if the Lanteans would be inclined to part with instructions on how to construct such a machine. It would be a boon to her people. Marie had instructed her in its use and she had marveled at the freedom it had awarded her. Once mastered, she had immediately made her way towards the area where John was resting. Sitting outside the 'privacy curtains', she heard the murmuring of words of love spoken from the heart. She was hesitant to intrude but the sudden sound of tears pushed her concerns aside. She pushed through the curtains, desperate to reach Teyla and John. She wheeled herself to Teyla's side and placed her hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"Teyla?" She asked quietly.

Teyla looked up, startled. Turning away, she wiped the telltale tears away. "Maylara? How are you? I am sorry I did not come by to see how you were. John…" She stopped, unable to go on.

"Do not concern yourself with that. Your place is here, at his side. He is a strong man Teyla. He will make it through this and come back to you, I am sure of it. I have been praying to the ancestors for him. They will understand how much he is needed here."

"Thank you. I…I know John would thank you as well." She turned and looked back at the older woman who was rapidly becoming a friend. "And thank you for all you did to help rescue him."

"It was the least any of us could do. I will never be able to thank him enough for saving Crislita. If I had lost her too…." Her eyes filled with tears, both of gratitude and the thought of the long lonely future she would have faced if the child she loved so much had been taken away from her so young.

Teyla stood and place her hands on the woman's shoulders, lowering her head to Maylara's. The familiar gesture brought comfort to both of them.

~,~,~,~

John floated in darkness, not really aware of the world around him. A light began as just a spark and then grew. Smiling, he turned towards it, knowing what it meant.

"Hello John."

"Hi 'Lantis." He frowned. His words were slurred and he wondered if Jennifer had him on the really good drugs. His brain felt fuzzy enough for it, although this wasn't the first time he'd been on morphine and he didn't remember feeling quite this way before. He started to walk towards her and realized he was dragging his right leg. "What…?"

Atlantis hurried to his side. Her makers had programmed her with emotions to allow her to interact with them easier, but she had only experienced a very strong one for the first time when John had first stepped through the gate. She hadn't recognized it in the moment, but over time had come to realize it was love. While she was incapable of having children, John was as dear to her as any child to its human mother. It was another reason she had chosen his mother as her avatar, a fact she had kept to herself, not sure how he would react to it. She remembered a conversation she'd had with him after his illness several months ago had allowed them to finally speak. She'd asked about his feelings for Torren, wanting to understand how a man could hold such love for a child that was not his. His response was immediate and fierce, striking a chord deep within her programming.

"He may not be my biological child, but he is the child of my heart. I will always love him as a father loves a son."

She smiled at the memory. The smile disappeared when she remembered the second strong emotion she had experienced. This one had happened that very day, when the Lantean doctor had declared him dead. She now knew what grief felt like and she found she did not like it at all. Shutting down all power to the city had not been her best decision but it had felt right. When they were able to revive him, she experienced her third and fourth strong emotions. Deep relief and joy. Today had, indeed, been momentous for her. She stared at the man who had become her protector, although the word felt…incomplete…and knew something was not right with him. She reached out and touched his head. He smiled and leaned into her hand. She searched his mind and saw the damage caused by his near brush with death. Suddenly, she realized this was something she could fix if he allowed it. Beyond what she had been able to do for him in the past. She removed her hand and stepped back to look him in the eyes.

"John." She stopped and then started again, not sure how much he knew. "John, your heart stopped today just as you were brought through the gate. Your doctor was finally able to revive you but your brain was damaged when you went without oxygen for so long."

His heart rate accelerated, raising an alert on the monitor in the infirmary. Jennifer raced out of her office just as she heard Teyla start calling for help. She entered the curtained area, surprised to find Maylara there as well but didn't have time to scold them, her full attention on her patient. He was frowning and the heart monitor was blaring out a warning. She looked at the other monitors and ordered Marie to prepare a sedative.

"Jennifer? What is going on? Is he going to be okay?" Teyla asked fearfully.

"I think he may be experiencing either a flashback or a panic attack. It shouldn't be happening, he should be completely under. I'm going to give him a mild sedative to see if that helps. I can't give him too much because of the pain medication he's on." She responded. Marie returned with the syringe and carefully injected it into the port in the IV line. They all watched as his heart rate slowed to within acceptable limits. "That's good, that's good, Teyla. He's stable again."

Teyla sagged and sank back into her chair. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She reached out and gently took his hand, bringing it to her lips. "Please, John, please. Come back to me, to us."

"John, calm down." Atlantis said, not expecting her words to have caused this strong a reaction. She should have known. He was a strong man who would not like to depend on others for help in doing simple things, would hate not being able to communicate as easily as he once did and, lastly, would hate to have his ability to fly taken away from him. "I can help." She said quickly.

He blinked and looked at her. "You can? Brain dam…dmg…dge…hurt?" He was frustrated at his inability to put the words together and felt panic rise again that this could be the rest of his life. She reached out and put a calming hand on his arm.

"Have you never wondered why it is that you seem to get better so much quicker here? Why your wounds heal faster than the lesser ones of others?"

He shook his head. Actually, it had never occurred to him to wonder, it was just a part of his life here.

"It is because of our strong connection and how strong your gene is."

He brightened. "Others?" Thinking that this could mean saving a member of his team, of his command, at some time in the future.

She shook her head. "No, I am sorry John. This is something I can do only for you."

"Why?"

"As I said, our connection and your gene." She was surprised when a part of her programming was suddenly opened to her, a part she hadn't known was there. "And because you are the Custos." She said wonderingly. There, that word felt right.

"I'm…what?"

"The Custos. Someone who is so strongly connected to me that he takes on the responsibility of my care and all those who live within my walls. I was given the ability to help you heal in order that you may continue to do so."

"Why not tell before?" He was getting more frustrated with his speech as they talked.

"I was not aware of this until just now. I have never met someone with whom I had this connection before, so never had need to access that part of my programming. I only knew I could help you to heal a little quicker. Now, with this new programming, I will be able to do much more. According to it, I was not able to do the extensive healing until we reached the level of communication we recently did. Once achieved, the next time The Custos was hurt, this would be triggered."

"When do?"

"I can do it now, but you need to know, this will hurt. I will need to purge your system of all the drugs your doctor has given you. You will feel every injury and then it will hurt even more when I begin the healing."

"Heal all?"

She cocked her head as she accessed more of the program. "No, I am sorry, I can only heal you to a certain point. After that, the physical strain on your body would undo any help I have given. I will need to focus on your brain and will be unable to heal much of the other wounds you sustained."

He nodded, willing to do anything that meant he would be able to stay here, to stay in the city he now called home. He was only too well aware of what would happen if he were diagnosed as brain damaged. They would remove him from command, discharge him from the Air Force and ship him home, to most likely spend the rest of his days in a V.A. hospital. Away from his friends, his family, the city he loved. "Do it."

She placed her hands on either side of his temples and concentrated. He flung his head back and screamed in agony.

Teyla watched in shock as John's body arched off the bed, what seemed like a scream trying to find its way around the tube in his throat. They'd only just gotten his heart rate under control long enough for Jennifer and Marie to feel comfortable enough to leave his side. Jennifer had gently, but firmly, ushered Maylara back to her bed. The sound of the alarms brought everyone running, including Ronon, Rodney, Woolsey and Lorne, all of whom had managed to find their way back to the waiting room. The resulting commotion was almost more than she could bear. She took an unwilling step back to allow the medical personnel access to her mate, her heart in her throat as she watched helplessly.

"He's seizing! Marie, prepare 5 mg of clonazepam, stat!" Jennifer ordered as she tried to push John back on the bed, not wanting him to injure himself any further. Ronon was suddenly at her side, adding his weight to hers. They both watched as the tremors subsided and the unnerving sounds escaping around the ventilator stopped. Marie appeared with the medication but Jennifer stopped her from administering it. "He seems to be coming out of it on his own. Let's hold off for a second."

Atlantis stepped back. "It is done."

John took stock and realized he did feel better, clearer, stronger than he had before. "Will I be alright?"

"Yes, John. You will still need time to recover from your wound, but your brain is now back to normal."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you, more than I can ever tell you." He moved forward and hugged her. She was happily surprised at the change in him, returning the welcome hug, knowing it was his relationship with Teyla that had led him to be more open. Just mere months ago he would never have contemplated hugging someone of his own volition.

He stepped back and grinned at her. She smiled in return. "So, The Custos, huh?"

"Yes, it means…"

He interrupted her. "I know what it means. In my language, it would be translated as The Guardian or The Keeper."

"How did you know this?"

"Ten years of Latin. Six in high school, another four in college."

She accessed the Lantean database and found the reference to the language of Latin. She tilted her head towards him. "Your database indicates that it is a language that has been dead for hundreds of your years."

"It is, but it's still taught in school."

"Why did you choose to study this dead language?"

"I found it…elegant. Plus, it's the basis of many words in other languages, making it easier to learn them and, apparently, somehow related to Alteran."

They smiled at each other, liking the additional connection they now felt. She knew it was time for him to return to his mate. "It is time for you to sleep now John, to heal. You have a machine breathing for you. Please do not fight it when you awaken."

"I won't. Thank you. I'll try to be worthy of being The Custos."

"You already are." She smiled again and reached out a hand to caress his cheek. "I love you John Sheppard."

He blushed a deep red but held her gaze. "I love you too, Atlantis." She smiled as she faded from sight.

In the infirmary, Teyla asked. "Jennifer, what happened to him?" She was tired of watching him helplessly, frustrated at her inability to fight this with him.

Jennifer tried to hide how worried she was. The seizure was a clear indication that the brain damage she had worried about was now a very real possibility. "Teyla, I'm sorry but…seizures are a side effect of the kind of brain damage I'm worried about." She felt bad when she saw the blood drain from her friend's face, but she needed Teyla to know there was every chance that the John Sheppard they knew and loved, may not come back. Turning back to her patient, she gently lifted the hem of his scrub shirt. Gently, she began to remove the bandages from his wound, worried that he might have ripped some of his stitches while seizing. She was also worried he might have done more damage from the broken ribs as she hadn't been able to wrap them because the strapping would hide the wound they needed access to. Her mouth dropped open in surprise. While it was still there, looking raw and angry, it was obviously much further along in healing than it should have been, the skin already beginning to knit.

She stopped, her eyes going to the monitors on him and she frowned. There was no way that his stats should be that good. She checked that the machines were all in working order, only to find that they were. She stared at her patient and made her decision. "Marie, help me get him back under the scanner." The nurse nodded and went to get the portable power source for the ventilator. Jennifer transferred the IV bags of saline and blood to the less substantial poles that were part of the movable bed he was lying on. When he was ready, she unlocked the wheels and together, they pushed him to the scanner. Jennifer set up the machine, concentrating on his head and started its diagnostic program. She frowned at what it was telling her. All signs of brain damage were gone.

She exchanged looks with Marie who looked just as confused. She turned to Teyla, only to find Lorne, Woolsey and the rest of his team had followed them. "Look, I don't know what happened but something…"

She was interrupted by Rodney. "Jenn! He's awake!"

"That's impossible! Between his injuries and the medication, it should be hours, if not days, before he wakes up."

"Well, see for yourself! His eyes are open!"

Jennifer turned and found herself staring into the eyes of her patient. Her very much awake, very much aware, patient. "John?" He nodded and lifted a weak hand towards the ventilator. "You know the drill, Colonel. Don't touch the tube!" He lifted an eyebrow and she sighed. "I'll remove it when you don't need it anymore." His eyebrow lifted further, a sign that gave her hope. He understood her and was trying to communicate. "Fine, I'll remove you from the ventilator but, at the first sign of distress, you are going right back on it. Do you understand me?" His nod raised her hopes even further as she moved next to the bed.

"Ok, you know what to do. Breath out as I remove the tubing." He did as she asked and she gently removed the tube from his throat. She carefully watched the monitors and saw that nothing changed. She looked back at him and he smiled at her. She smiled back, not knowing what had just happened but grateful that it had. Marie appeared at his side with a bowl of ice chips and gently placed one between his lips. He groaned a little at the relief it brought to his sore throat and she smiled down at him.

"Teyla?" He croaked out. Teyla moved to his side quickly.

"I am here John."

"Okay?"

"Yes, I am fine. We are all fine. The child suffered only minor injuries and is at home. Maylara is here in the infirmary with a broken leg, which she suffered after the quake, looking for you. Jennifer assures us that she will be fine as well."

"Good. Torren?"

"He is with Amelia right now. I wanted to be with you and…and I was not sure how this would go. I did not want him to feel my worry for you."

He nodded. He tried to lift his hand to her face but was too weak to reach her. She grabbed it in both of hers and kissed the back before lifting it to her face, tears making their way down her cheeks.

"Don't."

"Do not what John?" She still couldn't bring herself to use the contractions John had explained to her. The humans seemed to always be looking for something that would save them time, even in the way they spoke.

"Don't cry, baby. Be okay." The two sentences exhausted him.

She smiled through her tears, knowing that he spoke the truth. He would be okay. They would be okay. This new nickname he'd used for her, however, would need to be discussed when he was better. His people's need to give everyone nicknames confused both her and Ronon, but they generally just let it go. This one, however, was incorrect. She was not a baby and didn't understand his need to apply such a term to her.

Jennifer moved closer to the bed, still not sure what had happened. "John? How are you feeling?"

He smiled at her, knowing that her medical mind was having a hard time with this, and gave her a thumbs up and slid his eyes back to Teyla. "Colonel?" She asked, needing to get his attention back to her. He turned his head to look at her. "Do you know what happened?"

He nodded and smiled again, not able to help himself, the relief over his recovery making him giddy. "Atlantis."

"Atlantis? I don't understand."

"Healed me." He was still talking in short sentences, his throat still sore from the tubing that had only recently been removed from it, tired from his ordeal.

"She healed you?"

"Yes."

"Can she do that for others?" John could already see the wheels spinning in her head.

"No, sorry."

"Well, I guess we can't have everything." She frowned. "Why hasn't she healed you in the past?"

"She has."

"I'm sorry? I would beg to differ! I was here when you were fighting for your life after the beating you took, remember?"

"Stronger now."

"Stronger in what way?"

"Access to new areas…programming. Allows…use Ancient technology to heal more than…was able before." His voice was stronger and he actually used almost a whole sentence, feeling proud of himself. He was gaining strength even as he tired.

"Well, that's…that's…"

"Fascinating!" Rodney broke in, having overheard the last part of their conversation.

"Figured you'd think that McKay." John smiled at his team mate, following it up with a wide yawn.

"Okay, Colonel, time for you to get some rest. All of you, you can visit with him later." Jennifer said as she began to shoo them out. Woolsey and Lorne went quietly, relieved that the Colonel was going to live to fight another day. The members of his team, not so much. They stood their ground.

"But…I want to talk with him some more about Atlantis's healing abilities! Do you know what this could mean if…." Rodney began.

"Rodney, the Colonel has been through enough today. Even though Atlantis has helped him heal, he's still going to need recovery time." Jennifer chided him.

"But…"

"Rodney! John died today, several times, do you understand what that does to one's body?" John flinched a little at her words, unseen by anyone as they watched the tennis match between the two.

She watched as the blood drained from Rodney's face as the memory of those minutes in the gate room returned. His eyes flitted from John to her and back. "I'm…I'm…sorry. I know you must be tired John."

"It's okay Rodney. Atlantis said that the healing takes a toll on my body, that's why she couldn't completely heal me this time. Too much wrong." His words were now coming in complete sentences and he was relieved. He yawned again and snuggled further down into the bed. "I think I'll take nap, if you don't mind." His eyes closed and he was out.

Rodney stared at him for a few moments, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. He turned to his girlfriend. "He's really going to be okay, right?" More than one person waited for her response.

"I think so. I have to admit, I thought the seizure was a sure sign of the brain damage I saw on the scanner earlier. All signs of it are now gone."

"But you said there was only a chance that that would happen!"

"I didn't want to worry everyone more than they already were. What I saw was pretty much a sure indication that he would be permanently damaged." Ronon placed a hand on Teyla's shoulder when she stiffened at Jennifer's words, giving his quiet support.

"My God, that would have killed him surer than that piece of glass embedded in his side!" Rodney exclaimed.

"I know." She said quietly, reaching for his hand. He squeezed hers and leaned into her a little. "Want to help me move him back to the ICU?" She asked the room at large. Each person instantly moved to a corner of the bed, Rodney and Ronon at the foot, Teyla and Jennifer at the head, as if choreographed. Quietly they moved it back to its original spot and said a quiet goodnight to the sleeping man, leaving only Teyla and Jennifer behind.

"Teyla, he's going to be out for a while, why don't you go get something to eat and some sleep? You look dead on your feet and I know Torren must be missing you." At the indecision on the Athosian's face, Jennifer smiled. "Look, I can make up a bed for you here in the infirmary so you can be close to him. Go get something to eat, pick up Torren's playpen and my favorite little boy. You can both sleep here."

Teyla dragged her eyes away from the now peacefully sleeping face she had come to love so much. She nodded once and squeezed the familiar hand she had picked up without thinking about it. She turned to the doctor and smiled. "Thank you, Jennifer."

"Of course! You need to recharge your own batteries. It's been a long day for all of us."

"Yes, it has." Sighing, she raised the hand to her lips and kissed it. Placing it back on the bed, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Whispering into his ear she said. "I will be back shortly my love." She stood, suddenly feeling very weary and headed out.

~,~,~,~,~


	4. Chapter 4

A/N - Many thanks to honus47 for being my beta on this story and so many others. She is wonderful and I am so glad to call her my friend. Once again, I don't own Stargate Atlantis or any of its characters, just borrowing them for a bit.

~,~,~,~

Chapter 4

Nancy was frustrated. Everyone on this stupid base seemed to be heading to a meeting and couldn't stop to help her. She'd finally found someone who was willing to show her to the guest quarters. A short scientist with wild hair, glasses and a strong accent finally took pity on her and led the way. He introduced himself as Dr. Radek Zalenka and almost bored her to tears with descriptions of some experiment he was currently working on. When they finally arrived, she was pleased to see that her suitcase was in the room. Thanking the small man, cutting off his last sentence with barely concealed relief, she closed the door behind her, thankful that the mechanism was at least working on this door. Behind the closed door, she couldn't see the smirk on Radek's face as he turned away. Yes, he'd shown her to her room but by the most roundabout way he could find. He'd watched her memorizing the turns and had had a hard time stopping his smile. When she emerged from her room again, she would spend hours moving about the city, giving the Military CO more time to heal. Colonel Sheppard would not be leaving Atlantis if he had anything to say about it. He hummed to himself as he headed away, pulling out his tablet and making sure she was locked out of the server. Somehow, he wasn't surprised to see that someone had already done so.

The first thing Nancy did, was to take out her laptop and boot it up. In her head, she was already forming the scathing email she planned to send to General O'Neill at the SGC, copying Coolidge at the IOA. A separate one to Dave would follow. She was going to make it very clear that the personnel on Atlantis were incompetent, from the Expedition Leader to the medical staff. John would be going home so fast, their heads would spin. She smiled at the thought. When the laptop was booted up, she was surprised to see she had no connection to the secure server her orientation packet had assured her Atlantis was equipped with. She pulled the packet out and confirmed that it should be working. She slammed the laptop closed. _Nothing_ worked here! Her initial appreciation of the city had long since fled. She couldn't wait to get out of here but she would _not_ be going without John. Standing up, she swept her hand over the box on the wall and the door opened. Peeking out, she saw no one around. She quickly left and retraced her steps back to the mess hall. Why did everything have to be so far apart?

When she finally got to the mess hall, she found someone who could point her to the gate room where she'd first met Woolsey. The harried young woman blurted out directions in a nasally voice, juggling a sandwich, a cup of coffee and a laptop. She hurried away before Nancy could ask her to repeat it. The smirk on the scientist's face was very reminiscent of Zalenka's, although Nancy didn't see it. The scientist hoped her boss would be proud of her. The directions she gave the ex-Mrs. Sheppard were every bit as out of the way as his had been, something he'd taken great pride in when he'd told her about it. She risked a peek behind her and watched the woman walk away, following her directions. She suppressed a snort and did a little skip/hop down the hallway, eager to get back to the lab and let him in on what she'd done.

An hour later, Nancy entered the gate room that was five minutes from the guest quarters. The room was dim as it was night and only the late shift was on duty. She was tired, she was cranky and she was not happy. Someone was going be very well aware of that very shortly. She stormed up the steps and stopped in front of a young man with a Canadian flag patch on his left shoulder. She'd noticed them on the rest of the Atlantis personnel and recognized most of them. In no mood to be polite, she crossed her arms across her chest and said. "You! Get me a connection to Star Gate Command immediately!"

Chuck looked up from the screen he was watching and made a show of yawning in her face. He knew who this woman was and what she wanted. He was pretty much the face of the Atlantis grapevine and all information flowed through him. "I'm sorry ma'am, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because only the section leaders can authorize that."

"And who might that be?"

"Colonel Sheppard, Dr. Keller, Dr. McKay and Mr. Woolsey."

She frowned. None of them would be willing to help her. "Do you know who I represent?"

"Yes ma'am. The IOA, ma'am." His tone of voice let her know what his opinion of that organization was, while his words were respectful on the surface.

"Well, then you know the IOA holds the purse strings to this little jaunt. Get me an open line!"

"Sorry ma'am, I can't do that." Chuck repeated.

"I'll have your job!"

"I'm RCAF ma'am, I don't work for the IOA."

"You _all_ work for the IOA. Everyone here works for the IOA!"

An amused voice sounded behind her. "I used to think that as well Ms. Kingston. Then I arrived in the Pegasus Galaxy." She recognized the voice and rounded on him.

"I need to get an open line out of here now. If you don't accede to my wishes, you will be removed from your position here!"

Woolsey chuckled, undaunted. "I'm afraid we have strict protocols in place for opening a worm hole to Earth and the SGC. Each dial out takes a toll in energy. Energy we desperately need to conserve." He decide to ignore the fact that they were dialing Earth every time they sent an IOA visitor home. Nancy was too aggravated to pick up on that fact. "Every Monday we dial Earth and send a data burst through. Emails and reports from everyone on Atlantis are sent through in microseconds. On Thursdays, the SGC dials us and returns the favor. As this is Tuesday, I'm afraid we won't have an open channel for you for six days." He paused. "If you had read your orientation packet carefully, you would know this. Just as you would have known that John Sheppard was the Military Commander of this base." His censure of her not doing so, was evident. "I'm afraid this lack of attention to detail will have to go into my report on your visit." He added.

Completely ignoring the implication, she asked. "Under what other circumstances can you dial Earth?"

"If we're under attack and need assistance. Personal situations, such as a death in the family."

"What about medical emergencies?"

"We have two of the best doctors in two galaxies here on Atlantis. There's nothing that they can't handle. In fact, both our doctors have been called in to consult on medical emergencies at the SGC. We've never had to dial out for help for medical cases."

"Well, you should now. John needs to go back to Earth as soon as possible!"

"I think Colonel Sheppard would disagree."

"He's hardly in a position to do that now, is he?"

"Actually, he is. He woke up earlier and has had several conversations with his team and his doctors."

Nancy's jaw dropped. "He what?"

Woolsey sighed and spoke slowly and exaggeratedly as if she were a small child or just plain stupid. "He woke up and talked with us. He's going to be fine. Right now, he's sleeping."

"How…?"

"Excellent medical care." He had no intention of telling her, or anyone else at the IOA, or the SGC for that matter, that the city of Atlantis had healed _her_ Military Commander. They'd whisk John away and put him under a microscope for the rest of his natural life and that was not something he would be a party to.

Nancy sputtered, not sure if she could believe what she was hearing. Turning on her heel, she stormed out, headed back to her quarters. Frowning, Woolsey watched the direction she took, wondering where she was going. It was completely the wrong direction to get back to her quarters. He turned towards Chuck just in time to watch a smirk disappear from his face. "Chuck?"

"Yes sir?" Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"Can you explain why Ms. Kingston is headed in the opposite direction from her quarters?"

"Um, no?"

"Chuck?"

"Well, she may have been given directions by several of our more directionally challenged personnel."

"Really?"

"Yes sir."

"Very well. Carry on." Woolsey smiled as he turned and headed back to his office, where he'd been when he saw Ms. Kingston march in. It had been an interesting day, one that was rapidly improving.

~,~,~,~,~

John smiled as he watched the light coalesce again. He was starting to recognize when Atlantis was requesting his attention. "Atlantis? We need to stop meeting like this." He joked.

She wasn't sure what he meant and simply answered. "I am here John."

"What's up now?" He grinned at her and was surprised that she had no answering smile. "Atlantis, what's wrong?"

"John, your people have a visitor. She represents your International Oversight Advisory and is causing problems."

"My team and Woolsey, along with Lorne, will not allow that."

"John, you know her."

"I do?" He wondered who it might be.

"You do."

"Why are you being so oblique? Just tell me who it is." He spoke gently.

"Your ex-wife, Nancy." She'd held that information back when she'd been more worried about his health.

"Nancy? Nancy is here on Atlantis?" He was stunned

"Yes."

"And she's causing problems? About what?"

"You, John."

"Me? Why?"

"She feels…felt…that you needed to be sent back to Earth for proper medical care."

"But Jennifer is the best there is! So is Carson!"

"You know that, your team knows that, all of the Atlantis personnel knows that, but your Nancy does not."

Referring to Nancy as his felt wrong, at a fundamental level. "I'm not going to be sent back, am I?" He was beginning to freak out.

"No, John. Your recovery has made sure that that will not happen."

"Did you know about this before?"

She looked away from him. "Yes." She would not lie to him.

"Why didn't you say something?"

She looked back at him. "What good would that have done? I needed you to concentrate on getting better, not worrying about being taken away."

"That's not your decision! It's mine! You shouldn't have kept this from me!" He was angry with her for the first time.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. "John? Are we having our first fight?"

His mouth opened and closed, no answer readily available. Suddenly, he started to laugh. "Yes, I think we are."

"I do not wish this."

"Neither do I."

"Can you forgive me for withholding this from you?"

"Yes, I think I can. I know you did what you thought best. I just wish you'd trusted me."

"I do trust you John. I trust you more than anyone who has come before. I simply did not want a distraction from the more pressing need. She was nothing more than a bug buzzing in your ear when you needed to focus." John was surprised at the distaste in her voice and wondered if her reference to a bug was coincidental, knowing his aversion to them.

"You don't like her, do you?"

"This is new to me. And no, I do not like her." She realized her feelings for this woman were similar to those she felt for the scientist named Kavanaugh. He had had a strong dislike for both John and the late Elizabeth Weir. While she had not connected with Weir like she had John, she had recognized the woman's worth. When she had been lost to them, she had felt a slight discomfort but not like that when she had thought John was dead.

"Why?"

"She does not have your best interests at heart."

"How can you know that?"

Atlantis squirmed. This was also new to her, this indecision. "I…I do not know."

John was surprised. The fact that she admitted not knowing something kind of freaked him out. "What do we do now?"

"You need to let her know that you are well now and have no intention of leaving me…I mean leaving your people."

John laughed at her, amused at her fumbling over words, his city becoming more human to him by the moment. He sobered. He knew Nancy, better than most. She was not easily swayed once she'd made up her mind about something, he should know. She'd made up her mind about their marriage and he'd ended up being a divorce statistic despite his continued assertions that he still loved her. He wondered how different his life would have been if she'd been different. He thought he wouldn't be as happy as he was now, with Atlantis, Teyla and Torren. "Do you have any ideas?"

She thought and then smiled, he found himself thinking that the smile was a little smug. "Yes, I think I do."

"What?"

"This will be for me to do John. You need to rest."

"Atlantis!"

"I will be back later John." And she faded from his sight. He huffed out his frustration and found himself comparing her to the other women in his life, past and present. He had to smile when he realized there were many similarities. He suddenly realized he had a type. Tough, strong, opinionated and Nancy, Teyla _and_ Atlantis fit the mold. He smiled widely, then yawned and the light faded.

~,~,~,~,~,

Nancy had made her way back to her quarters, exhausted from the long walk. She plopped down in front of her laptop again, determined to find a way to get contact with the SGC. She was surprised when her efforts brought her to a group of video files. The first one opened without her clicking on it, showing a young man she'd never met, the file name showing the name of the man to be a Lieutenant Aiden Ford. As the replay began, she realized she was listening to a farewell message to his family. After the goodbyes to his grandparents and cousin, he started talking about his commanding officer, stating how much he liked him and how selfless the man had been, putting his life on the line for every one of them. He never mentioned Atlantis, instead calling the city their base. The man obviously had strong opinions and his admiration for his commanding officer came through strong and clear. She knew that man was John. She wondered at how he'd gone from the solitary commando she'd been married to, to the leader of men that the young Lieutenant raved about. The video file ended with the acronym KIA displaying across the screen. She felt bad that the vibrant young man was gone.

She clicked away from the files, only to have another one open without her command. This time is was titled Doctor Carson Beckett. The man was listed as a member of the medical team, although she hadn't met him in the infirmary. His video began with a rambling goodbye to his 'mum', asking her to keep up on the medical regimen he'd set up for her before he'd left on his current mission. When he was done, he started to talk about the people he worked with, Rodney McKay being his main focus but John, John had his own portion of the video, the man's admiration and respect coming through loud and clear. She looked at the timestamp of the video and realized it was several years ago. She wondered what the man's current opinion of John was. The video stopped with KIA once again displaying, then it flickered out. She had no idea what that meant.

The next video was another one of a woman she didn't recognize. The name indicated this was for a Doctor Elizabeth Weir, the annotation showing she was the expedition leader. That must have been before Woolsey, she thought. The messages were all for the families of the men who had lost their lives here on Atlantis. When she was done, the woman turned her attention to the living members of the expedition. John's name was the first to come up. Her affection for John was evident as she outlined the many times he had saved the lives of every man and woman on base. She strongly suggested that the SGC and IOA were wrong in their opinion of him, the woman's glowing words striking a chord deep within her. Her sense of jealously reared its ugly head again as she sensed that this woman was important to John. She was startled when the transmission came to an end with KIA once again appearing on the screen.

She was resigned to the fact that she had no control over what her laptop was showing her, not surprised when another video appeared. This time, though, she recognized the man. Rodney McKay, astrophysicist and Chief Science Officer. The man kept referring to index cards he had in his hand, talking about leadership and then rambling off on another tangent. John's name came up and it was obvious the arrogant man she'd sort of met, had strong feelings about her ex. At first she though they were negative until she realized that the man on the screen cared about John. His sarcasm and witticisms hiding a deep and abiding respect. She remembered the scene in the command center and wondered about the dynamics of John and his team. The video came to an end, this time with no KIA at the end.

She sat back and waited for the next video to begin, only to find mission reports instead. She considered not reading them, but her curiosity was piqued. The first report was from a Sergeant Markham and had to do with John and something called an Iratus bug. She remembered McKay mentioning something about this creature after John's team had come through the wormhole and he was begging Dr. Keller to not give up on John. The report was short as he'd been something he termed 'demolecularized' during the majority of the incident. She wasn't surprised when she read the part where he stated his admiration for his commanding officer, writing that he'd heard from Dr. McKay and Lieutenant Ford that, even while his own life was in danger, he'd been more worried about his men and had refused to give up on him and someone named Stackhouse. Her breath caught in her throat when she read about the doctor trying to get John's heart started again in something called the jumper bay. When she got to the end of the report, KIA again flashed across the screen. She sighed, so many lives lost here in the Pegasus Galaxy. "Why do they all stay here if it's so dangerous?" She mused out loud.

The next few reports were from other members of the expedition, different than the last one in that they talked about the wonders the various writers had seen in this galaxy, John popping in here and there, mostly mentioned due to something he'd done to ensure the success of whatever mission the writer was on. As she read through them, she started to understand why they stayed. As the reports continued to come up on the screen, she finally threw up her hands and said out loud to the room. "Okay, okay, I get it! Everybody loves John and the Pegasus Galaxy wouldn't be the same without him." The reports stopped. She frowned at the screen, wondering who was really messing with her. She still didn't believe the city was anything other than inanimate and that someone was trying to get her to change her mind about taking John home. Fat chance. She yawned, feeling tired and decided she'd pick up the fight the next day. Either John really was better or he was still in no condition to be moved. She didn't know what to think. Either way, the IOA would be getting an earful from her once she was finally able to make contact. She stood and got ready for bed.

Atlantis watched her, wishing the woman had the gene so that she could connect with her somehow, try to figure out what made the woman…what was the word John used…tick? What would work to make her realize that this was where John belonged. Even though he was better and would be able to tell her himself, she worried that the woman would still make trouble for her people. She also knew John would not be happy with her for both invading the woman's privacy and messing with her computer. She was willing to take the chance as she knew this IOA were the ones who had taken Samantha Carter away from her and replaced her with Richard Woolsey. She'd fought against him at first, not letting doors open for him, misdirecting him. That was until he won her over with his actions when Jennifer had been infected and was turning into a wraith ship, shortly after his arrival. The incident had been painful for her as the organism invaded her and drew power from her. John had risked his life to save both of them and Woolsey had been surprisingly humble when visiting him in the infirmary, sharing his insecurities about his ability to be the expedition leader. John had seemed to change his mind about him and she'd followed his lead. When the Lanteans had been put on trial by the coalition of planets, it had been Woolsey who got them out and she'd realized he really was a good man, if a little too rigid for her liking.

When the woman's breathing indicated that she had fallen asleep, Atlantis withdrew and turned her full attention back on John. Teyla now slept in a bed next to him in the infirmary, her face turned towards him even in sleep. Beside her, on the floor, lay Torren in his playpen. She reached out to the young boy's mind, feeling pleasure in the innocent dreams the boy was having. His sense of comfort at John's nearness made her happy. This small family was safe for the moment. She wandered away, checking on the rest of her people, finding most of them sleeping, just a few up late, working in labs.

~,~,~,~,~

Nancy was up early the next morning, refreshed and ready to pick up the fight to get John home. Showered and dressed, she made her roundabout way to the mess hall. She walked in and every head turned her way, all conversation ceasing. The silence that had once been a cacophony of voices when she'd walked in, was uncomfortable. She searched the room and realized she didn't see a single friendly face. She sighed, it appeared word traveled fast on Atlantis. She selected some fruit and a yogurt from the offerings laid out, added a cup of coffee and made her way to an empty table, to face a solitary breakfast. Conversations began again but were softer this time. She had a feeling she knew what they were about and that she figured largely in most of them. She straightened her back and held her head high. She wouldn't be here long enough to need to make friends. They may not approve of her plans to take John home for treatment, but she knew she was right. She was concentrating so hard on ignoring the looks that kept coming her way, she was startled when someone approached the table.

"Do ye mind if I sit with ye this fine mornin'?" The broad Scottish accent was pleasurable to her ears and she felt relief that someone in this place had some manners. She looked up to find a stocky man with dark hair and piercing blue eyes standing by the table, a tray of food in his hands. She recognized him immediately from the videos she'd been shown last night, the odd one with the KIA that had flashed and then disappeared.

"If you'd like." She replied cautiously.

He sat down and reached across the table, holding his hand out. "Dr. Carson Beckett, Chief Surgeon of Atlantis."

She shook it and then frowned. "I though Dr. Keller was the surgeon?"

He smiled, even though he was surprised she didn't know all this already. The last two IOA visitors had seemed to know everything about all of them, including that he was a clone of the original Carson Beckett who had died in an explosion several years ago. He figured they'd all been provided with the information by the IOA. "She is a surgeon, among other things and the Chief Medical Officer. I'm the Chief Surgeon. I'm surprised ye weren't told who's who on our little base."

She stifled her resentment at what she thought was yet another censure aimed her way for not reading the dossiers on the staff. "I didn't read the information on the personnel here as I wanted to form my own opinions of them. And I have." Her tone let him know in no uncertain terms what her opinion was.

Carson sighed. He'd arrived back on Atlantis very early that morning, worn out from trying to stop people from dying on Cremulos from the disease Michael had unleashed on several unsuspecting worlds. He thanked all the gods that the hybrid had been stopped before infecting even more worlds. He'd wanted a shower, a large dram of good Scotch whisky and his bed, in that order. Instead, he'd been regaled with the tale of how Colonel Sheppard had been badly hurt off world, how his ex-wife was on Atlantis representing the IOA and how she now wanted to take him back to Earth, claiming there was no way he could get decent care here. He suppressed his resentment that information had caused him and decided to check her out for himself, once he'd gone to the infirmary and been assured that John was no longer in danger. "Good choice lassie. Best to form your own opinions."

She stared at him in surprise. "Not everyone would agree with you. Mr. Woolsey for example."

"Och, the man is very conservative in his views of the world." She snorted her agreement and Carson frowned at her. "Still, he's a good man and has done his best for those of us here. We've all come to appreciate him."

Nancy tilted her head at him, trying to determine if he meant what he said and came to the realization that he did. "Well, I don't know him very well so I'll bow to your greater knowledge of the man."

"Aye, ye might do well to take that tack with everyone here."

She sighed, now she knew why the man had sat with her when everyone else had frozen her out. "Look, if you're here to talk me out of taking John home, then you're out of luck."

"He is home."

"What?"

"I said, he is home. More than anyone else here, Atlantis is home to John. Ye know about the ATA gene?"

"Of course I do! I may not have read the information provided on the personnel here but I am very well aware of what the IOA does and all things related to the Star Gate Program."

"Then ye won't be surprised when I tell ye that John has the strongest ATA gene ever measured. It was why he was chosen to join this expedition. He has an extremely strong connection to the ancient technology that is Atlantis."

Her spoon clattered to the table. "John? John Sheppard?"

"Aye, that's the one." His eyes twinkled at her.

"That still doesn't mean he wouldn't receive better care back on Earth. Once he's recovered, he can always come back."

"I checked in on him when I returned this morning. He's doing quite well and was peacefully sleeping."

"I think I'd like a second opinion on that, if you don't mind."

"Mine is the second opinion. Dr. Keller's was the first. Look, Ms. Kingston, ye need to understand that taking John away from Atlantis would be detrimental to his health, not to mention putting the city herself in danger."

Nancy rolled her eyes. "Herself? Don't tell me you've bought into this delusion that the city is sentient?"

"Aye, I know she is."

"This city is nothing more than a collection of glass, metal and wiring. She is no more alive than..than…this coffee cup." She held the cup up.

He chuckled. "Ye never know lassie, that cup might be thinking bad thoughts about ye right this moment." He ate the last bite of his breakfast. "Would ye like to go to the infirmary and see for yeself how John is doing?"

She nodded and they stood up from the table, Carson gallantly taking her tray as well as his own, depositing them in the area designated for dirty dishes. He motioned for her to precede him from the mess hall and stopped her when she turned right. "It's this way lassie."

"But…" Her eyes narrowed when she realized that people had been giving her bad directions since she'd arrived. She wondered how many hours she'd wasted walking around these halls. She wasn't paying attention to her companion, fuming at the tricks that had been played on her, until he stopped in front of a closed door she didn't recognize and waved his hand over the box on the wall. The door opened to show a small closet and he stepped in. She stayed where she was.

"Are ye comin'?"

"Into a closet?"

"Did no one explain the transporters to ye?"

"Transporters?"

"Aye, another ancient wonder. Come along and I'll show ye." She entered the small room and the door closed behind her, making her feel trapped. She watched as he touched a light on the screen that was in the middle of the back wall, showing what appeared to be a map. There was a white light and suddenly the doors opened behind her again. She turned and looked out, astounded that they hadn't opened on the same hallway they'd entered from. "This way." Carson stepped out and took a right, heading to the infirmary. She followed behind him, bewildered at the turn of events. They entered the infirmary and heard laughter. Carson smiled and followed it, Nancy trailing behind him. He wasn't at all surprised that the Colonel's team were present and the laughter meant all was well.

When he reached the curtained area, he held one aside and allowed Nancy to enter ahead of him. She stopped, her mouth open when she saw John sitting up in bed, a small child held in his arms, surrounded by the members of his team that she remembered from the prior day, although they were significantly cleaner. "John?"

~,~,~,~,~


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"John?"

He turned to look at her. "Nancy. I ah, I heard you were here. How do you like Atlantis so far?" He awkwardly made small talk, trying hard not to show the resentment he felt about her attempts to force him back to Earth. In his mind, he made excuses for her. Earth was home to her and she didn't know the people on Atlantis like he did. Didn't understand that there was nowhere else he wanted to be, nowhere else he could be.

"I…I…how?"

"How what?" He chanced a look at Teyla, noticing the flaring of her nostrils in the carefully blank face. To someone who didn't know her as well as he did, she would appear totally calm and unconcerned. When she stepped a bit closer to the bed, he had to bite his lip. This wasn't funny, by any stretch of the imagination. Nancy was now IOA and could make their lives hell, but he was fighting a smile as he felt his heart swell in his chest, recognizing Teyla's response as marking her territory, namely him. He found he quite liked the idea.

"You died yesterday! There's no way you should be up and awake, let alone having visitors!" Even now there was condemnation in her voice at the imagined lack of proper medical procedures. He found himself wondering how she could be upset that he wasn't lying there in a coma or at death's door. He shifted and the wound in his side made itself known. He bit down on his lip, not wanting to show her that he was still hurting.

"We have excellent medical care here." He no longer felt like smiling, remembering the things Ronon and McKay had told him about her disparaging remarks to Jennifer. Rodney had told him that his girlfriend had broken down in her quarters last night, worried that she wasn't good enough, worried that Nancy would use her position with the IOA to get her removed from Atlantis, worried that if she did have to leave, she would either have to leave Rodney or he would have to leave the city and people he loved. Ronon had told him of how Nancy had acted towards Teyla, although she, herself, hadn't said a word to him. He'd also been told by a little birdie, that she'd threatened Chuck and Woolsey's jobs when they wouldn't let her dial out to the SGC. All this information had led him to understand Atlantis's aversion to his ex-wife. It was time to nip this in the bud.

Nancy hmmphed. "I'm not so sure about that." Everyone stiffened, Rodney opening his mouth to defend Jennifer, Carson and their team. Carson put a hand on his arm, forestalling him.

"Guys, would you mind leaving us alone for a moment, please?" John asked, his tone telling them that it wasn't a request. Teyla searched his eyes and he smiled at her. She reached in and took Torren from his arms, the child whimpering at being taken away. "Hey, it's okay buddy, you can come back in just a few minutes." He assured the toddler softly, reaching out to stroke his back. The boy stuck his thumb in his mouth, chewing on it. He was teething, just as John had suspected when he'd first woken up, and was cranky. John seemed to be the only one who could sooth him, something that had made him feel inordinately proud. Torren buried his face in his mother's neck and hiccupped a small cry. It made John want to snatch him back and cuddle him, wanting to take the pain away.

Teyla deliberately leaned in and kissed him, hard. Knowing what she was doing, although somewhat surprised at the public show of affection, he played along, lifting a hand into her hair and pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. "Ewwww, get a room." Rodney said. Everyone except Nancy, laughed.

They parted and Teyla put her forehead to his. "We will be right outside my love." She said. She shifted Torren into a more comfortable position and turned. "Ms. Kingston." She nodded her head and regally walked away, only Ronon and Carson trailing her until Carson turned back and snagged Rodney's shirt, dragging the clueless scientist with them as he complained.

"Wait, I want to stay here to see what happens."

"Rodney!" Carson exclaimed. They argued gently as the group exited the infirmary. John turned his attention to Nancy.

"I hear you've been busy in the, what? Twenty-four hours, or _less_ , that you've been here?"

She crossed her arms over her chest. "John, look at it from my perspective. I come here, not even knowing you're here, and see you brought through the gate in critical condition. You died right in front of me! Yes, the medical team brought you back but you should come home with me for proper medical care!"

"I can get the best possible care in two galaxies, right here. Jennifer, Carson and the rest of their team are remarkable doctors and nurses and they've saved my life more than once. What we do here is dangerous but important and only the best of the best are sent here."

"Like you?"

He blushed a little, knowing that he'd brought that question on himself. "I'm talking about the doctors and scientists who work here. I'm just a grunt who's helping keep them safe while they do the important work."

"That's not what I've heard."

"What do you mean? What have you heard?"

"Someone decided to hack my computer and play videos of people raving about a certain military commander."

"What?"

"Yes, they appeared to be old video goodbyes to family and friends from several years ago. All stating that you pretty much walked on water."

"You saw those?" He frowned. They were personal and should not have been shown to anyone except the intended recipients.

"Yes, along with some mission reports, all showing you in a particularly flattering light, showing how important you are to the expedition here."

"Atlantis." John sighed, leaning back into his pillow. Now he knew what she'd meant when she'd said she would handle Nancy.

"Atlantis? Atlantis!?" Nancy's voice rose. "Are you telling me that you buy into this whole 'the city is alive' crap?"

"Nancy, calm down. Atlantis has an A.I. interface that makes her as alive as a city can be."

"My God, you're as delusional as the rest of them here!"

Deciding it was time to show her what he was talking about, he reached out and felt her presence. He felt an odd vibration from her that he thought could be construed as anger. He had to smile. It was good to know she was as prone to the bad emotions as she was to the good. Knowing he didn't have to voice his thoughts, he did so to prove to Nancy that the city was aware. "Atlantis, would you mind lowering the lights in the infirmary?"

The lights immediately lowered and Nancy's jaw dropped. She snapped it closed and huffed. "Parlor tricks!"

John sighed, now remembering her obstinacy with less than fondness. "Okay, Atlantis, raise them to proper illumination again." The lights came back up.

Not wanting to admit that she was freaked out by the apparent control John had over the city with just a few words, Nancy crossed her arms across her chest again. It seemed to be her go to body language since she'd arrived here and she couldn't seem to control it. "It still doesn't mean she's aware. Dr. Beckett told me about your ATA gene and how it controls Ancient technology. That didn't prove anything."

John sighed, knowing Carson had meant well. He looked around and noticed that Rodney had left his tablet on the bedside table, no doubt forgetting it when Carson had hauled him out of the infirmary. He posed a question to Atlantis and got an affirmative reply. He reached out to grab it, a gasp escaping him at the pain that the movement caused him. Nancy rushed to his side. "What's the matter? Do you need the doctor?"

"No, no, I just need you to get me that tablet." He settled back on the bed and pointed to the table. She walked to it and picked it up, handing it to him as she turned back.

"Thank you."

"What do you want that for?"

"To show you something." He powered it up and entered Rodney's password, glad that his friend hadn't changed it since the last time he'd used it without his permission. He entered some commands and was pleased to see Atlantis appear on the screen. He handed the tablet back to her. "Nancy, I'd like you to meet Atlantis."

Nancy took it and looked at the woman staring back at her through the screen. She stumbled and sat down heavily in the chair by his bed. "John, that's…that's..that's your mother!" She recognized the woman she'd never met, as she'd been dead for years before she'd even met him. Both Patrick and John had had many pictures of the woman they'd both loved. Something they'd had in common but didn't seem to bridge the gap between the two.

"Yes, it's the form that she takes when she appears to me. It's a show of respect for someone who had a great impact on my life."

Nancy stared at the screen and started when the image spoke. "Ms. Kingston." Atlantis didn't say it was a pleasure to meet her, because it wasn't. This woman wanted to take John away from her.

"Who are you?"

"I am Atlantis."

"This is some kind of trick!"

John sighed. "Nancy, it's no trick. The Ancients had amazing technology, much of it still beyond our understanding. A piece of that technology is Atlantis."

Nancy stared at the woman, unable to look away as the image spoke again. "Ms. Kingston, you need to understand that John must remain here. He is The Custos."

"The what?"

"Custos. It means The Guardian or The Keeper. John is vital to the wellbeing of both myself and the people who reside within me. You must not take him away."

Nancy looked at John. "Who is she? Really?"

John was starting to get angry. "I've told you! This is Atlantis."

"John." She said gently. "Atlantis is a city. It is _not_ alive. I don't know what you hope to accomplish with this charade."

John tilted his head at her. Sadly he said. "You never did understand me. Never even tried."

"I did try! I just couldn't get used to you walking out the door, leaving me behind waiting and wondering, just because someone called and said jump!"

"You knew what I was when you married me, knew what I did!" This was an old argument.

"Yes, but I expected you to quit when we got married." She clamped her lips shut. This was not something she'd ever admitted to him before. He blinked at her.

"Why would you expect that!? I told you when I asked you to marry me that I wouldn't give up my job and that, if you couldn't handle it, you should just say no."

"I know what you said, I just didn't realize that you meant it."

He stared at her. "You're never going to believe that Atlantis is alive and that I'm where I'm supposed to be, are you? No matter what we do."

"That she's alive? No."

"What about me staying here?"

"I still think you should go back to Earth. Let some experts take a look at you!"

He heaved a sigh and held out his hand for the tablet. He looked at the woman staring back at him from it. "We tried Atlantis."

"Yes, John. Some people are just not ready to open their minds to the wonders of the universe. They cannot handle the fact that they are not the center of everything." Apparently, Atlantis was not above throwing out an insult or two of her own.

Nancy watched John have a conversation with the woman on the tablet and found herself wondering if what he'd said was actually true. That the city was alive and aware of the people living inside her. She shook herself, these people were starting to affect her. When he said goodbye and turned off the tablet, he looked up at her and frowned. "I don't get it. Why are you insisting that I go back to Earth?"

"I just think you need to step away from here for a while. It's starting to affect your thinking and it couldn't hurt to get some good medical care." She didn't add that she wanted him to be away from those that obviously had influence over him and would interfere with her plans to resurrect their relationship.

"So now you think I'm crazy?" John was getting angry.

"Of course not! Just…confused."

"I am not now, nor have I ever been, confused. Why are you doing this?"

"I almost lost you!"

"You lost me a long time ago, when you insisted on a divorce over my objections. Why would you verbally attack the woman who'd just worked so hard to save my life?"

"I was scared, scared that you were going to die so far from home! Scared that the last memory I would have of you was you bleeding out in the gate room!"

"And that made it okay to accuse some of the finest medical people in two galaxies of being a backwater field hospital? You don't know them! You had no right!"

"I'm sorry John, I'll try to make it up to Dr. Keller." She really couldn't explain, even to herself, why she'd gone off that way. It wasn't how she'd made it to where she was in her life. She was usually more diplomatic, looking at problems from all sides and perspectives. She could only think that her sudden realization that she was still in love with him and that he'd just died right in front of her, had short circuited her common sense.

"You do that! Not only is Jennifer an excellent doctor, she's a gifted scientist in her own right and didn't deserve that!" His face was flushed red with anger. "And what about the way you treated Teyla? I got an earful about that as well! Do you know who she is? She was the leader of an entire people! She gave that up to join us and fight against the Wraith. Her people are proud warriors with a wonderful culture and you basically accused her of being a savage scrabbling in the dirt!"

"I was jealous!" She blurted out, hating the censure in his voice as he threw back the things she'd done in her face.

"You were _what_? What, now you've decided that you made a mistake and want to just pick up where we left off?"

The look on her face confirmed that the words that he'd thrown out half-jokingly were actually pretty close to the mark. He was stunned. She'd moved on with her life before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers, taking up with Grant so quickly that he'd always wondered if they'd already had a thing going. He wondered what was going on there. "What about Grant?"

She shifted uncomfortably on the chair. "We divorced about eight months ago. He couldn't take the secrets I had to keep from him. The last time we met after Patrick's funeral, I told you I'd caught him looking at me the way I used to look at you. I understand, now, why you had to."

"So, because you're footloose and fancy free, with a new 'understanding' of me, you expected me to be open to this? Nancy, I've moved on! Teyla and I are in a relationship, a good, strong, _healthy_ relationship and we have a son."

She seemed to deflate a little and said quietly. "I know that."

"Then you need to know that you can't ask me to leave here."

"Well, you're obviously better and in control of your own fate. I know now that nothing I say is going to change your mind that you're doing the wrong thing." She said bitterly.

"It's not the wrong thing, Nance."

His use of her old nickname warmed her. She'd seen the interaction between her ex and Teyla and knew she didn't stand a chance, especially as they had a child together but she had talked herself into hoping. He looked at her closely, finally seeing some vulnerability. "Nance, those things I heard about the way you treated Jennifer and Teyla? They don't sound like the woman I used to know. What's going on?"

She met his eyes and hers filled with tears. "I'm a failure. First you and now Grant. He's already found someone else and now I find out you have too. I knew it the moment I heard Teyla speak about you. You've both moved on and left me behind!"

"I didn't leave you behind, you left me." He said softly. "Do you really think that means the way you've treated people since you've been here is okay? Throwing around your IOA weight, threatening people's jobs?"

She squirmed, wondering how he'd found out about all of this so quickly. She knew in her head it wasn't okay but her heart was at war with it. She looked up to find him looking at her sadly, as if he didn't recognize her anymore and admitted defeat. "No, I guess not. I guess I have some apologies to make."

"It's more than a guess and, yes, you do. The sooner the better."

Changing the subject, she asked. "So, a son?"

"Torren? Yeah, isn't he great?" A goofy smile lit up his face and any small hope she held out that they might have a chance to get back together, died a fiery death.

"It's funny, he doesn't look much like you."

"Oh, he isn't my biological son. Teyla was in a prior relationship with another Athosian and had Torren with him."

"Athosian?"

"Yes, the Athosians were the first race we encountered after we arrived here."

"First race…you mean she isn't human?"

"Of course she's human! She just didn't grow up on Earth. Neither did Ronon. His people were Satedan."

Nancy was glad she was sitting down. The only aliens she knew about were the Goa'uld, Asgard, Wraith and Ori and she only knew about them because of what she'd been told when she'd gotten the necessary security clearance to join the program. Two of which had tried to subjugate the human race and one who looked on them as a food source. Taking a deep breath she said. "So, let me get this straight. You're in a relationship with an alien woman who had a child with another of her species?"

"Nancy, we're all from the same stock. The Ancients seeded this galaxy as well as ours. Teyla, Torren and Ronon are all as 'human' as we are." His anger was reappearing. This was not the woman he remembered and now he wondered if he'd ever really known her. The bigotry and belligerence were not the way he remembered her, but then he'd been away a lot during their courtship and eventual marriage. Had she changed that much or was this her true personality? Suddenly he was exhausted. He closed his eyes and said. "I don't think I can do this anymore. I'll ask Richard to authorize an early return for you back to the SGC."

"You're kicking me out?" She stood and stared at him in shock.

"Not kicking you out, exactly. I just don't think the Pegasus Galaxy is the right place for you."

"John, I really am sorry! I'll make it up to them and to you!" She pleaded.

"Sorry? Or worried that getting sent back early will be a black mark on your record?"

"I.."

"Please, Nancy, I need to rest. We'll talk about this later. Can you send Carson or Jennifer in as you're leaving?" The dismissal was crystal clear. She started at him for a moment and then left the room without another word. Outside she found his team and the doctor anxiously waiting, the man she'd been introduced to as Major Lorne had joined them at some point. She stared at the child held in Teyla's arms and found out another thing about herself she wasn't happy to discover. Not only was she jealous of Teyla and John's relationship but she was jealous of the family they had created with the child. John had always wanted children but she'd been working so hard on furthering her own career, that she'd put him off with vague promises that were never kept. When he'd pushed, she'd lashed out at him, saying she didn't want to be a single mother, using his job against him, knowing it would hurt him. Now she was just a shade over forty and may never have a chance to have what she saw he'd gained, and she was positively green with envy. What kind of person did that make her?

Quietly she said. "Carson, John is asking for either you or Dr. Keller." The man scurried away before she'd completed the sentence. She looked at the impassive faces on the people who now stood shoulder to shoulder against her and thought, he really is home. She nodded to them and turned to walk away, not caring if she was going to be taking the long way around. It would give her time to think. When had she become this lonely, frustrated, _almost_ _middle aged_ woman? She knew having a child or a family wasn't necessary to make a woman fulfilled. She had her job and had thought that was enough. Now she realized that coming home to an empty apartment, with no one to share her day with or talk about silly things with, had changed her. Even when she'd been married to Grant, she'd often felt alone. He was so uptight, she couldn't talk with him like she had with John in the early days, their conversations bordering on the ridiculous until they both dissolved into laughter. She thought back over her behavior of the last day and cringed. She'd taken it out on the people closest to John and she wondered if he'd ever be able to forgive her. She had many bridges to mend, she just hoped she hadn't burned them beyond repair.

~,~,~,~


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jennifer entered a few more numbers into Colonel Sheppard's file and hit save. She sat back and thought over the last day and a half. She'd gone from declaring her friend dead to saving his life. She'd been amazed when she'd discovered that Atlantis had partially healed him, focusing of the brain damage and only able to further the healing of his broken ribs and wound slightly faster. He'd explained that overdoing it would overwhelm his body and it would all have been for nothing. She'd gone from despair to hope to euphoria and then had hit the ground hard when John's ex-wife had called her abilities into question. She was still worried about what the woman would do. None of her accusations would hold water, but she'd seen how the IOA worked. Actual proof had never stopped them before. She was roused from her reverie by someone clearing their throat behind her. Putting on her best doctor's smile, she turned to find the woman she'd just been worrying about standing in the doorway of her office.

"What can I do for you Ms. Kingston?" Her voice was professional but held no warmth.

"I was hoping I could talk to you for a moment?" This was not the strident woman Jennifer had met so briefly and so disastrously. Her voice sounded hesitant and maybe a little sad. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear what the woman had to say but her innate curiosity won out.

"Of course, please come in and have a seat."

Nancy moved into the office that looked more like a lab but didn't sit, nervously washing her hands together. "I've come to apologize to you. I have no excuse other than I was scared out of my mind. John…John has always been important to me, from the moment we met. I'd forgotten that until I saw him die in front of me."

"He's important to us too." Jennifer crossed her arms across her chest. Nancy instantly recognized the move as defensive and felt a stab of remorse.

"I realize that now. I've had a chance to calm down and talk with John. He's filled me in on how good a doctor you are and how gifted a scientist."

"He said that?" Jennifer smiled for the first time. She knew she and John were friends, but this was the first time that she'd heard that he admired her and it felt good, going a long way to relieve the self-doubt this woman had raised in her.

"He did. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I wanted to let you know that I won't be making any trouble for you, or anyone else, here on Atlantis. In fact, my report will only reflect how dedicated and talented the people I met here are."

Jennifer dropped her arms. "That's good to know. The people here have faced many hardships and have never given up. They're an exceptional group of people." Except maybe Kavanaugh, she thought, but didn't say out loud.

"So I've seen." She held out her hand. "Please, I would like us to part on a happier note."

Jennifer stood and shook her hand. She wasn't going to hold a grudge but she would be happy when the ex-Mrs. Sheppard left Atlantis. Her presence was unsettling and she didn't like unsettled. "I wish you well Ms. Kingston."

"Nancy."

"Jennifer." Nancy nodded once and left the lab/office. On her way out, she ran into Carson Beckett coming in.

"Well, lassie, what are ye doin' here? Everything okay?" She could hear the worry in his voice. No doubt he was concerned that she was making more trouble. She smiled at him

"Yes, Carson, everything is fine. I was just in apologizing to Jennifer. The way I treated her, and all your staff, was inexcusable. Will you extend my apologies to them as well?"

The relief on his face would have been comical if she didn't know it was her that had made him so worried. She held out her hand. "I'll be leaving for the SGC this afternoon and I'm not sure if I'll ever see you again. I want to let you know that it was a pleasure to meet you." Carson took her hand and covered it was his other one, not shaking it in the traditional way but trying to convey the comfort he seemed to sense she needed. She felt a lump rise in her throat. John hadn't followed through on his threat to send her home early and she'd spent a lot of time in her room, alone and thinking. Something that had left her reimagining her future. She was going to stay with the IOA but would be spending less time working and more time trying to build a personal life again, one that didn't revolve around work dinners and political parties.

She left and continued on her self-appointed rounds. Next up was Dr. McKay. She'd finally read those dossiers that she'd thought she was so smart to avoid. His had stated that he was a genius but notoriously hard to work with. What she'd seen since she'd arrived here would seem to be the opposite. His concern for John had been heartfelt and not what she would have expected from the cold hard words on paper. She asked for directions to his lab from the next person she met and was pleasantly surprised when the man went out of his way to lead her directly to it. Apparently, the word had gotten around that she wasn't going take John away and most of the personnel had relaxed their attitude towards her. They didn't go out of their way to be friendly but at least they weren't overtly hostile anymore.

They parted ways at the entrance to the lab and she heard McKay's voice. "Ronon! Don't touch that!" His tone was strident and impatient. If she hadn't seen how he was with John, the report on him would have seemed spot on. She knocked on the open doorway and the two men inside turned to look at her. Ronon was here as well. That was good, she'd kill two birds with one apology. "What do _you_ want?" McKay asked. She had to smile at the pugnacious tone of his question.

"May I come in?"

"Yes, yes, it's open, isn't it?"

Ronon just stared at her impassively, not saying a word. These would be two of the tougher sells. The toughest she had left for last. "I've come to apologize to you, both of you, for the way I behaved. I don't expect forgiveness but I do need to tell you I'm sorry."

"Fine. Don't let the Star Gate hit you in the butt on the way out." McKay turned back to his work but Ronon continued to stare at her.

"Mr. Dex?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Why?"

"Why what? Why did I do what I did or why am I apologizing?"

"Yes."

She sighed. "I'm far away from home, in a galaxy I had no idea, until _very_ recently, that we even had a presence in. I walked through a glowing puddle in Colorado and emerged on another planet. I was then broken down into atoms and rebuilt on the bridge of a ship that no one on my world was even aware we had the technology to build. I was then beamed down to Atlantis and within seconds, saw a man I never thought to see again, someone I still care deeply for, die right in front of me. I think I lost my mind for a while there. I thought I was prepared, so confident that reading all the material about the technology we oversee, was enough. The reality was oh, so different. Then I was led on several wild goose chases around the city just as I was trying to regain my equilibrium. It's not a good excuse, but it's the best I can offer. As to why I'm apologizing, well let's just say I've seen the error of my ways."

Ronon continued to stare at her. Finally he said. "Okay." An Earth word he'd picked up from Sheppard and found worked wonders to convey so many things.

"Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay."

She turned to leave when his voice sounded behind her. "He's a good man and the best commander I've ever served under. He took me in even after I threatened him and Teyla. He gave me a home, something I'd given up on ever having again. You would have had to take him off Atlantis over my dead body."

She looked back over her shoulder and nodded. "I know." She replied quietly.

She walked out of the lab and heard McKay say behind her. "Well, that was different." She had to smile at the words. The more she saw of the eclectic group of people here, the more she realized she'd missed out on a wonderful opportunity by going off the deep end and alienating them. The smile dropped from her face as she girded herself for her final humbling apology. She would apologize to Mr. Woolsey and the man in the gate room when she presented herself for transport back to Earth.

She wandered a bit, realizing she had no idea where to find her quarry. She finally stopped a marine and asked. "Can you tell me where I might find Teyla Emmagen?"

The man narrowed his eyes at her, making no attempt to hide his suspicions about his CO's ex. "Why?"

"I just need to talk with her before I leave. There's something she needs to hear."

He thought for a moment and then nodded. "She'll be teaching this time of day, come with me." He had no intention of letting this woman near Teyla without him there for protection. Nancy practically had to jog to keep up with him. She suddenly realized she heard something that sounded like sticks beating together and looked around for the source. The man led her to the open door of what appeared to be a gym and she discovered where the sound was coming from. Teyla, dressed in a skimpy outfit that made Nancy feel dowdy, was engaged in a heated battle with sticks, against a man twice her size and weight. She watched, amazed, as the small woman danced her way around the bigger man, landing blow after blow without taking so much as a single hit herself. When she caught the man behind the legs and he went down, she reached down to help him up.

"You must watch my eyes at all times. If you get distracted, you could end up dead instead of sitting on the floor of the gym."

"Yes ma'am." He noticed that they had company but Teyla hadn't seen them yet.

"Would you like to go again?"

"Um, ma'am? I think there's someone here to see you." He pointed at the doorway. Teyla turned and froze at seeing who was waiting there. She hadn't seen John's ex-wife since that day in the infirmary. She spent all her free time with him and the woman had never returned. John had taken it upon himself to apologize for Nancy's behavior but it was not his fault, as she kept telling him. She took a deep breath and turned back to her student, placing a hand on each shoulder. She leaned forward and he met her midway. Straightening, he gathered his equipment and left the room, motioning to the marine to go with him. The man just shook his head no and went into parade stance. His CO's mate would not be left unprotected.

Nancy stepped into the room and hesitantly asked. "Teyla? Do you have a moment to speak with me?"

"Of course. What can I do for you?"

Nancy swallowed hard. This was the most important one and the one that she felt would be the hardest to get out. She instantly decided that she would be honest with the other woman, about everything. Somehow, she had the feeling that this was someone not to be trifled with or lied to, someone who would respect honesty, no matter how hard it was to hear. "I've come to apologize for the way I treated you. I'm ashamed of my behavior and wanted to let you know this."

"I see. May I ask what you hoped to accomplish by taking John back to Earth? Why it was so important?"

Nancy hesitated and looked at the marine standing in the doorway. "You may leave Sgt. Stackhouse, I will be fine." Teyla said.

Stackhouse pursued his lips and then opened his mouth to decline. Teyla beat him to it. "Phil, I will be fine. I am in no danger from her."

Finally he nodded and began to move away, saying as he went. "I'll be right outside ma'am. Shout if you need me." She smiled and nodded.

When he was gone, she turned back to Nancy. "Very well, we are alone. What do you wish to say to me?" Nancy looked around the gym and found a bench seat. Beside it was a playpen and she realized Torren was sleeping in it, unfazed by the sound of the fighting that had been going on around him. Seeing her looking at her son, Teyla said. "He is teething and exhausted by the pain. The only one who seems to be able to calm him is John and he cannot stay in the infirmary with him all the time. I cannot leave him alone and I have responsibilities I need to attend to. So, he comes with me when he can. If it is not appropriate, there is no shortage of people willing to babysit him."

Nancy nodded. "I wasn't criticizing you Teyla, I just happened to notice him for the first time. Look, can we sit for a minute?"

"Very well." Teyla inclined her head, every inch a leader used to respect. The two sat and she waited. When the silence dragged on, she asked. "Did you not say you had something to say to me?'

Nancy had been staring at the playpen watching the soft breaths of the child as he slept. Without thinking, she blurted out. "He's beautiful." She wasn't aware of how wistful she sounded and Teyla's heart thawed a little.

"I think so, as does John."

"He wanted children, you know. But I kept putting it off, worried about how it would impact my career. My career. I think..I think a part of me knew our marriage would never last. We were too different. It was my choice to end it, even though I still loved him and he kept telling me he loved me and wanted to keep trying. He was away so often, in dangerous situations that he couldn't tell me about. He'd come home, exhausted. Sometimes physically, sometimes mentally. I was alone so much, that I became so wrapped up in myself, in what I wanted, I never saw how much I hurt him until it was too late."

"John told me that you remarried. Did you not want children with your new husband?"

"That's the irony. At first, I did but he didn't. He wasn't interested in being a father and I let him talk me into thinking I didn't want to be a mother. That I had better things to do with my life." She paused and looked at Teyla. "I don't know about your world, but on mine, a woman doesn't need to have children to be considered a success and to be fulfilled with her life. I thought I was one of those woman. Then I came to Atlantis and saw John die, then come back. I thought I was being given a second chance. He'd been on my mind a lot after my marriage to Grant fell apart. Then I heard you talk about him and knew that you loved him. I heard your friend talk about your child and I don't think I've ever been so jealous in my entire life."

"Torren is not John's biological child."

"I know, he told me and I can tell you that it doesn't matter one bit. That child is his son no matter who his actual father is. That came through loud and clear." She tore her eyes away from Torren and met Teyla's. "Look, I came here to tell you how sorry I am about the way I treated you. You deserved better and I can only say, that this is not who I usually am. It was like I lost my mind. I knew I was being completely out of line but I couldn't seem to help myself."

"You wanted John to go back to Earth so that you could care for him, hoping he would come to love you again." Teyla stated it as fact, not a question.

"You really are insightful." Nancy sighed. "Yes, that's a large part of why I wanted him to go back to Earth. My concerns over his health were legitimate. I had no knowledge of the medical personnel here and my only thought was to get him back to familiar surroundings."

"Atlantis _is_ familiar surroundings."

"I understand that now. I've already apologized to Jennifer, Dr. McKay and Mr. Dex. My behavior was inexcusable and I threw myself on their mercy. Some were more forgiving than others."

"Rodney."

"Yes. What's the story with those two? They don't seem to be compatible at all. Yet, Dr. McKay obviously cares about John deeply."

"Yes, it is an unlikely friendship. I would even go so far to say they think of each other as brothers. Brothers who annoy each other, fight constantly but instantly close ranks when something threatens them. I have seen Rodney grow over the years due to this friendship. They have absolute faith in each other."

"John has a brother back on Earth. I've been told the two of them were inseparable as children but then something happened."

"Their mother died."

Nancy looked surprised. "He told you about this?"

"Yes, we hold no secrets from each other."

"John never told me, it was Dave who gave me the background on how they came to be estranged. John has, or had, a hard time talking about his feelings. I think he closed himself off after his mother died, feeling isolated in his own home."

Teyla finally smiled, knowing that the John she described still appeared now and again, but he was making an effort for both her and Torren's sake. He'd made great strides in that area, his ability to give and accept a hug without feeling uncomfortable was evidence of this. "He's a good man, Teyla. I wish you every happiness but I won't lie to you. If I thought I had a chance with him, if I thought he wasn't happy, I wouldn't hesitate to do everything I could to take him away from you. Unfortunately for me, I've come to see he's happier than he's ever been and that includes when we were first married. It always seemed like he was waiting for something. I've spent the last few days thinking and realized that that no longer seems to be the case. I think it's you he's been waiting for all his life. I'm glad you found each other." It hurt to say it but she actually did mean it.

"I think I have been waiting for John all my life as well. I remember when I first saw him. He was unlike any man I had ever met. I knew he was going to mean something to me but we ended up in a situation where he was unwilling to take the next step. There have been others for both of us over the years, but they never felt quite right."

"What situation?"

"He was my commanding officer. Your military has strict rules about that. My world does not have a military so I did not understand at first. I thought he was just not interested, so I hid my feelings and began a relationship with another of my people. I will never regret having Torren but there are times I wish John was his father in all ways." She was surprised at her confession to this woman.

Nancy was surprised as well. "I wish…I wish things had turned out differently Teyla Emmagen. I think, under different circumstances, you and I could have been friends." She stood up and held out her hand. Teyla stood as well. "Can you accept my apology? It doesn't mean forgiveness, just accept that I truly am sorry."

Teyla looked at the hand reached out to her and lifted her eyes to Nancy's. "My people do not shake hands as your people do. It is unheard of here. The Wraith feed upon us through their hand." She took a step forward and put a hand on each of the other woman's shoulders as she'd done with her sparring partner. She leaned her head forward and Nancy mimicked what she'd seen him do, gently placing her own forehead against Teyla's. They parted and Teyla said. "That is the traditional greeting amongst many of the people in this galaxy. It can mean many things. In this case, it means I accept your apology."

"Thank you." Nancy decided it was time to go, she didn't want to wear out her welcome. She'd done what she'd come to do and gotten so much more out of it than she'd hoped. It had almost been cathartic. She walked to the doorway and then turned around. "Goodbye Teyla."

"Goodbye…Nancy." The two smiled at each other and Nancy left, picking up the marine guard who was waiting outside the gym. He straightened when he saw her and nodded. She wondered how much, if anything, he'd overheard and hoped it didn't get back to John. She might as well make use of him as she was hopelessly lost again. She had one more stop to make before heading back to her room to pack.

"Sgt. Stackhouse, would you mind leading me back to the infirmary?" His eyes narrowed at her again and she fought an urge to either roll her eyes or break out into hysterical laughter. He turned and she followed. When they reached the familiar area, she stopped and said. "I can take it from here, you don't need to guide me anymore. Thank you for your help."

"It's no problem ma'am, I'm happy to see you safely to the infirmary." And keep Sheppard safe from you, he added in his head.

She smiled and nodded, pretty sure she knew what he was thinking. "As you wish." They continued on in silence. When they reached the familiar room, he didn't stop at the door, instead following her inside. She sighed softly, knowing she had no one to blame but herself.

She made her way to the curtained area that John lay behind. She heard voices and a woman's laugh. She knocked on the metal surround and waited until John called come in. She stepped inside to find the woman whose niece he'd saved sitting in a wheelchair by his bed. The laughter in her eyes died away and Nancy swallowed. She turned to the man in the bed and asked. "John, could I speak with you please?" It felt like she'd said that over and over today. John looked at her closely and then, satisfied by what he saw, nodded.

"Maylara, would you mind leaving us alone for a bit? We can pick up your story later, I want to hear the rest of what happened with the fermented fruit."

"Are you sure John?"

"Yes, thank you for asking."

The woman turned her wheelchair away from the bed and made her way between the curtains, having become more adept at maneuvering with it. Jennifer had already said she would give her the instructions on how to construct these and that she could take one of their extras back with her to use as an example, to be returned at her convenience when they had perfected the manufacture. Dr. McKay had even offered to come to Strallos and figure out what local materials to use for each of the parts. She completely ignored the woman who had created such an uproar amongst her new friends. Nancy and John watched her go with smiles on their faces, although for different reasons.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

Nancy turned to find him watching her warily. She sighed and sat down without being asked. She was tired, not just from walking all over the place today, but from the stress of apologizing to so many people. "I wanted to let you know that I've apologized to Jennifer, Dr. McKay, Mr. Dex and Teyla. You were correct, I had no right to say or do the things I did. I'm truly sorry John."

"How did they react?"

"Other than Dr. McKay, they all accepted. Him, I'm not really sure what happened."

"Yeah, that's Rodney."

She looked at him closely, he appeared in even better health than he had when she'd seen him last. She couldn't fathom how he could go from being declared dead to sitting up in bed looking like he was ready to get up and take on the world. "I need to give you my apology as well. I now know that this is where you belong. I didn't understand that and I'm sorry I caused so much trouble in the short time I've been here."

"I'm glad to hear that Nance. I hope I'm correct in thinking that you really thought you had my best interests at heart."

"You are, although there was a selfish component in there as well. I wanted you home where I could see you more often. I wanted to find a way back into your life. I can now see that your life is here."

"Thank you." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "So, do you still think Atlantis is nothing more than an inanimate city?"

"Yes. I'm not sure why you feel so strongly that she's alive, but it doesn't appear to be harming you so I'm willing to let it go."

"Gee, thanks ever so much." They looked at each other and started laughing. He sobered first and asked her something he'd been worrying about. "Nance, can I ask that you keep that little piece of information out of your report? The last thing I need is for the IOA to swarm in here either trying to find out if I'm right or if I'm off my rocker."

"You have my promise." She looked at her watch. "I need to go back to my room and pack. Thank you for not sending me home early. You were right, it would have been a black mark on my record and I've worked really hard to get to where am I."

"Are you happy with where you are?"

"I thought I was. Now, I'm not so sure. I plan to stay with the IOA, for now, but I plan on making some serious changes when I get home."

"Good. Look, let me know how you're doing, will you? Drop me an email now and again? The IOA has my email address." He still loved her, just not in that way. They'd had a life together, flawed as it was and she would always be part of his makeup.

"I will. Thank you John, this could have gone so differently. I…I like your Teyla. I told her I think we could've been friends under different circumstances."

He smiled. "Yeah, I think you could have."

She stood. "Goodbye John." She stood uncertainly, not sure if she should shake his hand or kiss him on the cheek. An idea came to her and she smiled. Leaning over his bed, she put a hand on each shoulder and inclined her head towards him. His mouth dropped open and then he grinned that crooked grin that took her breath away and brought his forehead gently to hers. She straightened and hurried away, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. The marine was still waiting for her and seemed not to know what to do when he saw the tears streaming down her face. "It's okay Sgt. I promise, I didn't hurt him."

"No ma'am, I don't suppose you did. Would you like me to escort you to your quarters?"

"Would you mind?"

"It would be my pleasure."

"You're a nice young man."

"Thank you ma'am."

"Or at least you would be if you'd just stop calling me ma'am. You make me feel like I'm 100 years old! Please, either call me Nancy or Ms. Kingston."

"Yes ma…I mean Ms. Kingston."

"Let's go, I need to pack. I have a puddle to catch."

Stackhouse smiled at her and led the way out of the infirmary, turning her in the right direction of her rooms. Neither were aware that both John and Maylara had heard their conversation. Maylara had made her way back into John's 'room' and they started to laugh when they caught each other's eyes.

Back in the guest quarters, Nancy packed quickly and looked at her watch. She had about a half hour to kill until she had to leave for the scheduled dial out and she had a feeling no one would welcome her hanging around the gate room, getting under foot. She decided she'd get a head start on her report to the IOA. She'd meant what she'd said to Jennifer, the report would be nothing but glowing, if not downright effusive. She'd also keep her promise to John and make no mention of his belief that the city was alive. She booted up the laptop and tried to open the report template. When a video file opened instead, she sighed and said. "Not again. I've given in! I've apologized to everyone. There's no need to show me any more 'John is great' movies!"

"I have no intention of showing you anything like that Ms. Kingston." Nancy stared open mouthed at the woman looking back out at her from the screen. John's mother's image tilted her head at her. "You seem surprised to see me."

"You could say that." She muttered.

"I am sorry to hear that." Nancy looked carefully at her laptop, the camera and the speaker both showed as off. How was this woman responding to her words?

"Who are you? Really?"

"I have told you who I am. John has told you who I am. I am Atlantis."

"I can't believe that."

"Why?"

"Because it's just too fantastical to be true."

"Like traveling millions of light years to another galaxy in a microsecond? Like traveling on a spaceship that moves through hyperspace after having been beamed up from the surface of a planet not your own? Like encountering a race of beings who feed on humans through their hand? Like having a gene that allows you to use technology that is inert to others?"

Nancy blinked. When put like that, she shouldn't believe any of this, but she'd experienced it. Well, except for the Wraith part and she wasn't unhappy to have foregone that particular encounter. She swallowed. "Why John?"

"He is the Custos. And even if he were not, he has an exceptionally strong gene and is able to connect with me more strongly than any besides my makers. Add in that he just so happens to be a good man and how could I not chose him? Did you not?"

"Yes, I did but then I let him go."

"You regret this, yes?"

"Very much."

"Then you must understand why I was not willing to let him go?"

Nancy shook her head, realizing she was talking either with a sentient city or someone who had not only been able to hack her incredibly secure laptop but put video and sound surveillance equipment into her room. With John in no danger of going back to Earth, what would be the value in that? "You really care for him, don't you?"

"I love him."

"You…you love him?"

"Yes. My makers programmed me for many emotions and John has evoked many of them." The woman raised an eyebrow. "You have evoked some as well."

"Yeah, well, I can guess which ones."

"They have not all been bad. I can sense that John cares for you and I have to believe that someone he cares for cannot be all bad."

"Thanks, I guess. Why did you want to talk with me again?"

"To say goodbye and to wish you well. John has asked you to stay in contact with him. I hope you will follow through on that, it would mean a lot to him."

"I plan on it." Taking a deep breath she said. "Goodbye Atlantis. Take care of him for me? Take care of all of them?"

"I will. Goodbye." With that, the report template popped up on her screen in the woman's place and Nancy found she missed her. Deciding the report could wait, she powered down the laptop and placed it in her luggage. She spent her remaining minutes deep in thought, wondering what to believe but finding that her trust in John was making her lean towards his being right. The city was alive. Not in a human sense, but close enough. When it was time to make her way to the gate room, she stopped and looked around the room again.

"Goodbye Atlantis." She said again softly. Somehow she wasn't surprised when the lights dipped low and then back to normal. She patted the wall and headed home.

~,~,~,~


End file.
